I don’t mean to be a downer, but this is a Boomer meme.
Wife bad
ExWife.
Also alimony can be given to the man as well if he decided to be the homemaker or stay at home parent.
Whoever gets paid more is the one who ends up owing down, doesn’t matter if you have a dick or wind chimes down there.
How many women do you know who marry men who make less than they?
I know a small handful, they do exist
Should it matter?
Uhhh, I’m a Xennial and this hits hard. I am basically paying for her mortgage with the amount of money I have to give my ex every month. She has always had zero ambition, so I was always getting raises, and by the time we split, our finances were in two very different places, so the court said I have the luxury of paying her monthly just to be rid of her.
You got screwed then if you’re in the usa, spousal alimony is basically non-existent. Most states don’t have it anymore and those that do have it for about a year.
I’m well aware of how screwed I got… I’m hoping that in the next year or so I’ll be able to re-litigate with a different lawyer. I was so desperate to get out of that marriage, I took some bad advice.
My biggest problem is that my life hasn’t been the most stable since I left her. The sick amount of money I have to give her every month certainly hasn’t helped.
Does she work? What state are you in? You shouldn’t be paying her at all really. Alimony has really lost its teeth in the last 10 years.
I got screwed too, because we have a child. If he has one, he is screwed until the kid finishes college or is 25 yo.
He also pays in full even if he has 50% custody. Here in america, woman good man bad.
Certainly it sounds like you’re bad.
It’s your kid, why shouldn’t you be happily paying for his or her life?
Only boomers have bad marriages? Or is it because someone who was famous before you were born should never be shown in a meme?
Or is it boomer because you don’t get it?
Thinking all the shit is his instead of martial assets to be equally split. Is some wife bad boomer humor is I believe the point.
I don’t know OP situation so I’ll reserve some judgment. However, I’m really tired of rhetoric about how alimony is always some evil scheme made to specifically destroy men in divorces.
When people get married, often times one of them gives up their job and start performing unpaid labor. Sometimes neither of them give up their jobs, and one of them still has the majority of household burdens forced onto them, affecting their career and performance.
Alimony is a form of compensation for the unpaid labor and it’s impact on that person’s career. More often than not, when people say ‘my ex wife is taking all my money’, what they are really saying is ‘I deserved free labor at the expense of my ex wife’.
Granted, it’s possible that OP could be a domestic abuse victim in which case alimony is a whole other form of fucked up. But if that’s not the case, then please stop.
When I was in college, this weird dude started just hanging around us. No one really knew where he came from since he wasn’t in any of our classes, but yet there he was. He liked to tell us things like how he hated crowds and would get agitated on city buses. He told us this while on a city bus. One day, he explains to me that if you loan someone $20, and you never see that person again, you were a sucker that was out $20. A few weeks later, he asked to borrow $20 from me. I loaned it to him because why not. I never saw him again. Apparently he did this to a few of us. Still the best $20 I ever spent.
Sometimes it’s not about the money, it’s about what the money gets you in return.
Divorces are rough, but things do get better. I’m 4-5 years out since mine and I’ve never been happier, it was worth every penny spent.
I keep seeing this and stuff, but being 37 before things get better sounds awful.
That being said, I’m certainly miserable right now, and I certainly can’t stay that way for my son. We’re just starting on the financial agreements, and lord am I going to have to change my lifestyle
The first year was the roughest as I adapted to the new normal. The second year was all about rediscovering myself as an individual. It was somewhere during that second year that I began feeling happier, and in the years since then that happiness has multiplied.
If I can offer some advice, don’t go out and make any major life decisions for the next year or so. You probably won’t be thinking soundly for awhile and don’t want to do anything major you’ll regret once you are. Secondly don’t go running off looking for another long-term serious relationship, you will need some time to rediscover who you are as an individual as people have a tendency to lose that sense of self during long relationships. I made both these common mistakes, and they’re among the few things I’ve done that I regret in my life.
Lastly remember what you’re doing is probably the best thing for your son as every study I’ve ever read says children are better off with two happy parents who are divorced over those who have unhappy parents who stayed together for the child’s sake.
Stay strong. Your world is being shaken up right now, but things will settle down and once you’re on the otherside you will likely realize, like me, that you’re happier. Best of luck.
Thank you for the advice. The relationship thing I can see, I have 15+ years of stuff to unpack.
And the part about my son having a better life after the divorce, I see how it will benefit him. That’s going to be my anchor to get through this. He won’t be happy, obviously, when he learns about it, but we’re doing it with a full plan, and introducing it with his therapist when the plan is ready.
My wife left me, I lost everything.
But I got to keep our dog.
So, that’s a win.
I hate to break it to you, but if you’re watching her spend your money, she’s still a part of your life 😬
You can really tell by the replies the people who have been through a divorce and those who have not. IYKYK
Son, i have some bad news. Are you sitting? Ok. She migjt keep coming at you for money, and she might take you to court repeatedly with disruptive claims. The court will not care, and will not penalize her for frivolous claims. She might find a judge who will give her what she wants.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Shouldn’t of got married if this was how you felt.
Shouldn’t have made this comment if you didn’t want to get called a retard.
Because every marriage starts with “I know you’re gonna fuck this up, but let’s do this”
I Get the impression you have a really narrow and extra chromosome styled view on real life situations you’ve never had to deal with, eh?
So, a roundabout way to call someone retarded really solid point, not toxic at all. You didn’t actually use the word so it’s fine.
