“Xeepzorp, it’s not that complicated. The thumb-up is like crossing your eyestalks, and the middle-finger is like extruding your rectal tentacle.”
Ah yes the ass dick
Aliens with a literal dick-butt? The Internet would love them!
God I never understood that. And I was the perfect age for it.
Wait until they learn that the thumbs-up in some countries means what the middle finger does in the US…
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the Czech Republic, where apparently holding up a single index finger means 2.
Not a Czech but now that you mentioned it I want this here too!
I mean have you tried counting from either end using all your fingers i.e. thumb == 1? That dexterous shit is hard so making a single index finger two instantly makes it nice and smooth!
(Instant edit: this obviously only holds if index finger+ middle finger counts as 3, otherwise there really only seems to be an advantage in calling out 2 and my argument collapses)
How do you count 1 then?
I do have some experience with the Czech Republic and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the case.
I was only there a month. I can’t claim to be any kind of expert. But I do know I wound up eating two sausages.
Sausages are often sold as a pair there, just like socks - you won’t get just one :) Even the czech word párek (sausage) means also “a pair”.
Fascinating. Didn’t know that!
It’s not that complicated, aliens
The middle finger gesture was used in ancient times as a symbol of sexual intercourse, in a manner meant to degrade, intimidate and threaten the individual receiving the gesture. It also represented the phallus, with the fingers next to the middle finger representing testicles
It’s a classic human cock-and-balls, simple as
Ah yes signs and symbols. Surely no alien ever has heard of those.
Humans vibrate the air in different and complicated ways. One vibration pattern humans like, another vibration pattern they don’t like. sure this “speech” thing is really complicated. also symbols squibbled on surfaces. language, am I right?
Instead of just using brain-to-brain radio waves like any civilized species would. Pathetic.
What are you? Some sort stelliferous era primitive? We of the degenerate/blackhole era use quantum entanglement for daily communication.
This made me realize that if we encounter aliens there is a non-zero chance there will be alien weebs that become obsessed with our culture and think it is superior.
That’s how we beat the Zentradi.
The Zentradi thought swimsuits were armor, they don’t exactly have a track record for brilliant decision making
Seems like any aliens advanced enough to study us would very easily figure out that hand gestures are a form of communication.
Let’s see how harmless it is when I jam it in your compound eye Mr. Kleezorp
Shit’s regional, too, yo. For “fuck you”, the brits use a gesture that’s more akin to “eat my cunt”.
The human race is often thought of as communicating primarily on a vocal basis. however, they also possess an extremely complex and sophisticated language based on gestures. For example, the simple gesture of raising the index and middle finger with the palm inwards can convey the complete sentence: “up yours Frenchie, I still have all my fingers”
We do? Can you describe the gesture? Maybe it’s so ingrained I don’t even recognise it. Or I need to learn it. Then I can use it at everyone today.
I believe theyre referring to the usual two-finger-fuck-you. As in v for victory.
If you take that same sign and press it to your lips you get a gesture recognised as “eating pussy” when accompanied by some tongue action through the V of your fingers.
Ah, I see. We don’t tend to put it to the mouth. It’s more “fuck you”. Apparently comes from demonstrating to the French that you still have your bow-drawing fingers and intend to use them. British archers captured by the french would have their first two fingers removed to prevent them launching arrows.
A commonly repeated legend claims that the two-fingered salute or V sign derives from a gesture made by longbowmen fighting in the English army at the Battle of Agincourt (1415) during the Hundred Years’ War, but no written historical primary sources support this contention.
Turns out we don’t actually know the origin of flicking the V
My dog pisses on other dog’s piss as a show of dominance. We’re all weird.
At least that makes sense and has a logical reason
“The gesture is an invitation for the adversary to put their middle finger in their own excreting orifice”
“Wow it must be painful for them!”
“They seem to have rather pleasant experience instead”
“Interesting…”“We must facilitate this experience for them as a sign of good faith.”
And some humans don’t mind the middle finger at all and even react to it with bemusement!
But some humans think the ok gesture is as bad as or worse than the middle finger.
Others are offended by the index and middle finger being extended in a V shape with the palm facing inward…but never when it’s facing outward!
Maybe it evolved to be harmless. Maybe it used to be the poison finger and now we instinctively try to poison each other.
Ya know I don’t actually think having widely recognised hand signals with different meanings is all that weird.
Body language is ubiquitous as communication in animal species, it’s like saying “why one noise good but another noise bad”
If aliens exist (and they probably do,) they’d probably take one look at our incessant sat tv broadcasts and nope the fuck out.
Also, probably just stay away because they’d know we nuked ourselves. Multiple times. We’re psychopaths.
Or they’re still watching single female lawyer and will visit when the feed cuts during the finale.
Can you imagine another species being addicted to reality TV?
Absolutely. I think part of the draw of reality TV is seeing people who are a bigger mess than we are (personally I don’t watch it, but the theme is consistent in comedy and sitcoms, Futurama, Family Guy, Simpsons all have kinda stupid protags to make it easier to relate/laugh at because they aren’t better than the general viewer). I could see an alien species laughing about how dumb humans are.
You should see The Orville. There’s an episode about exactly that.
There’s a Star Trek ds9 episode where a non-human alien gets sent back in time to 1947. They discover on their sensors the radiation from the continual nuclear bomb tests and are horrified that the humans would irradiate their own planet. I just recently became a ‘trekkie’ and I get it, it really has some of the best themes and plots in sci-fi
You’re talking about the one where quark and rom go back in time on accident? And get caught by military police?
It ain’t trouble with tribles, but it’s a good one.
That’s the one, I personally dislike even the smallest of spoiler so I was being vague haha. I enjoyed it though, I never watched any Trek at all before this and I’m so hooked lol.
The only Star Trek anything I haven’t watched is St:Discotheque- that one makes more sense if you just assume the entire crew is jumped up on space shrooms.
My uncle got me into when I was a kid. I was left alone at his place while the adults were either talking downstairs or at my brother’s soccer thing and I found his collection. (Everything that had ever come out, on VHS.) I was on trouble with tribbles when he came up stairs and said “OHHH that’s my favorite episode, back it up while I go make popcorn!” (And then we proceeded to binge Star Trek until way late.)
I haven’t seen the original yet but the DS9 version of that episode was great, I was impressed they even used old style lenses and film to recreate the style of the 60s episode. It also made me realize “huh, William Shatner is kinda hot isn’t he?” Ahah. I’ll watch the original series eventually, I have a lot to catch up on lol.
Yep.
For the record DS9 was my favorite show over all.
The cake was taken when Sisko TKO’d Q. Best captain ever. (“I’m not Picard!”)
Although if you liked ds9 s1, try giving Babylon 5 a chance- upn9 ripped off an early show bible from JMS to start ds9. Londo singing the Hokey Pokey is… amazing.
deleted by creator
