Hey, Christians who believe in demonic possession: How come it’s only y’all getting possessed and not my heathen, atheist ass who literally invites the demons in?

They go for the unattended bowls so they can just take it all for themselves. I dressed up as a decoration scarecrow one or two years after I was too old to trick or treat myself and held a bowl of candy in my lap out on the porch. Every kid that attempted to take the entire bowl, got a scare as I stood up and shouted scary things like “TAKE THE BOWL, I TAKE YOUR SOUL!”

There are apps that pay you to do surveys.

With today’s wages, I could foresee those being used way more frequently than they used to.

Millennial here: If telling some MAGAt or annoying survey taker that I’m voting for Trump shuts them up and makes them leave me alone, I’mma lie my fucking ass off.

Such as letting fascists into power.

aaaand suddenly it works now. Wtf

I mean I can tell the jellyfish apart from the plastic bag in this example, so maybe those turtles just need glasses.

Elon: “I’m building an even bigger penis-shaped rocket and naming it the ‘Hardship.’ Get it? Cuz it’s hard? Like a penis? And a ship. Anyone?”

I lost all faith in modern journalism when I took a college course on journalism and saw how that wasn’t how shit was being done in the real world anymore. Real journalism died with the 24 hour news cycle.

Is the bruised legs from punching yourself in frustration? That’s why I would have bruises like that. That might not be the ADHD, though. It could be the autism or the borderline personality disorder. And it’s actually a coping mechanism to hit myself instead of breaking things.

Wasn’t there one that died, like, a week into office because he was too cool to see a doctor or something dumb like that?

Did you forget about deep dish pizza?

Also, thin crust pizza is basically man trying to make pizza a circle instead of a cylinder, in defiance to nature.

Good thing I never sleep.

You know what I would do if I was president?

Curl up under the desk in the oval office and cry because I have no idea how to run a country.

“I don’t remember exactly how that story went,” Walz explained of the discrepancies in the narrative, before worrying playfully, “I probably should: The Republicans will, like, accuse me of never having a Dreamcast or something, you know how they are.”

Someone told me they imagine me as Tim Walz the other day, and now I see it too.

It works for me in so far as giving me a deadline is better than saying “get to it when you get to it.” Because I will never get to it.

That’s quite a leap from cat selection.

“Why do anarchists live under capitalism if they hate it so much?”

Bro, sometimes you don’t have a choice. They might not know about Lemmy or other Reddit alternatives that aren’t corporate owned piles of dogshit. For a while, there weren’t any; that’s why I was there for so long.

It’s also hard to just up and leave a community. Even if it’s in a bad neighborhood. Your friends are there. Unless they come with you, you’re much more inclined to stay.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice… Can’t get fooled again.

Are there any crazy glitches/exploits one can do in a modern Madden game that would be akin to taking shots from that one specific spot in Double Dribble where it’s 100% guaranteed to go in?

I wanna see one of them just gobsmack the other with that kinda play. lol