• bleph@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Homie I’m sorry that happened.

    You might want to do some research on:

    • verbal abuse
    • narcissistic parent
    • low self esteem

    This is what I wish someone else told me.

    Good luck on your journey

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me

      • redsol2@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way

          • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.

            That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.

      • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.

        Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.

          • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            Well, and anybody can say or do things that are abusive.

            Different people have different levels of tolerance for abusive behavior. The question is, when does it go from, “a person prone to occasional abusive bullshit” to “a person in the habit of committing acts of abuse”?

            It’s a lot like addiction in the sense that it’s a sliding scale, but people largely outside of it will freely brand the slightest hint as a full blown catastrophe.

          • Sivaru@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.

            • bleph@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I don’t agree with this in all cases.

              True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:

              • Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
              • Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
              • Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.

              For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake

              • Sivaru@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I agree with you on the first one. There are parents who do not deserve to be called parents, and they should be punished.(It’s too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his mother to not repeat the mistakes of his parents in the future to break the loop. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we the adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.

              • Sivaru@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I agree with you on the first one. There are fathers who do not deserve to be called fathers, and they should be punished. (It is too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his father and not repeat the mistakes of his fathers in the future to break the cycle. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.

  • Korne127@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
    But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.

  • onlooker@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Wow. This pretty much constitutes verbal abuse. I’m sorry you had to hear all that. And hey, I’m happy for you!

    • chickenwing@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      You can run a Friendica instance and act like you invented it. My family was impressed when I “made my own Netflix” with a Plex server lol.

    • Jamie@jamie.moe
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      1 year ago

      You can still make Facebook, you just need to register it on a domain they haven’t claimed. Then get sued and live in a box for the rest of your life while paying Zuck your bucks for trademark infringement.

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, I have a little bit of that problem too. Then she says “I didn’t mean it exactly, just something like it”

  • GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!

  • wt1a@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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    1 year ago

    104 stars is damn impressive… can’t compare github stars to low effort social media likes!

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, although the thing that makes me the most happy is actually seeing stuff I made being used.

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          Very random projects but my two most starred are a JS package for using the Google Translate API for free, and a JS project that scrapes a ton of traffic camera data from local government websites.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      Someone used to periodically fork my repo of a college assignment and change all the text to Chinese. I assume they were stealing it but I don’t know. I think their name was spikerman but I’m probably misremembering.

        • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          There’s been so much tankie discourse that when I saw this in my inbox I genuinely thought someone was accusing me of being a shill for the Chinese government or something lmao.

        • flashgnash@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Apparently the Chinese government has created their own “home grown” OS which apparently took 10 years and thousands of programmers and is basically just Ubuntu underneath

  • 𝑔𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑥𝑖@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I’m proud of you!! That’s huge. You should give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Verifiable progress and it’s only up from here, keep it up :)

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Honestly I don’t know- I’ve been very lazy and lacking motivation for while so it’s kinda going down

      • tias@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        I would lack motivation too if I grew up with a mom like that. You need to eject her talk from your head. Every day you wake up a new person and whatever had happened earlier is nothing but memories. Begin again. You’re free, and life is full of opportunities.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    At least his heinously critical mom still looks young, I guess 🤷

    Although most would probably count it as a negative that she looks to be the same age as her son.

    Or maybe it’s an unintended aspect of the art style and I should stop overanalysing everything like a goddamn moron, like MY mom keeps telling me 😉

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Xd, I don’t work for microsoft- but good job finding a repo with exactly 104 stars