Homie I’m sorry that happened.
You might want to do some research on:
- verbal abuse
- narcissistic parent
- low self esteem
This is what I wish someone else told me.
Good luck on your journey
Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me
I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.
I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way
You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.
That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.
Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.
Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made
That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.
Well, and anybody can say or do things that are abusive.
Different people have different levels of tolerance for abusive behavior. The question is, when does it go from, “a person prone to occasional abusive bullshit” to “a person in the habit of committing acts of abuse”?
It’s a lot like addiction in the sense that it’s a sliding scale, but people largely outside of it will freely brand the slightest hint as a full blown catastrophe.
Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.
I don’t agree with this in all cases.
True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:
- Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
- Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
- Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.
For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake
I agree with you on the first one. There are parents who do not deserve to be called parents, and they should be punished.(It’s too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his mother to not repeat the mistakes of his parents in the future to break the loop. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we the adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.
I agree with you on the first one. There are fathers who do not deserve to be called fathers, and they should be punished. (It is too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his father and not repeat the mistakes of his fathers in the future to break the cycle. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.
I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.Yeah I guess. I’ve only been able to get internships- good internships. But I’ve never been able to get a real job
Well you managed to get the username [email protected] before me, so that’s something
haha, yeah and it was only a week ago
I wish you best of luck doing that (when you want to(?)); I hope you’ll be able to get a good job in a field that you enjoy to work within.
Thank you!
Wow. This pretty much constitutes verbal abuse. I’m sorry you had to hear all that. And hey, I’m happy for you!
My mother told me to make Facebook. I tried explaining Facebook already existed, but it was no use.
You can run a Friendica instance and act like you invented it. My family was impressed when I “made my own Netflix” with a Plex server lol.
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You can still make Facebook, you just need to register it on a domain they haven’t claimed. Then get sued and live in a box for the rest of your life while paying Zuck your bucks for trademark infringement.
Yeah, I have a little bit of that problem too. Then she says “I didn’t mean it exactly, just something like it”
I want you to just make a house! Well, obviously not a house like this brick house, but something like it…
I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!
Nice that is really cool to have feedback from people using your creation
104 stars is damn impressive… can’t compare github stars to low effort social media likes!
Yeah, although the thing that makes me the most happy is actually seeing stuff I made being used.
What sort of stuff do you make?
Very random projects but my two most starred are a JS package for using the Google Translate API for free, and a JS project that scrapes a ton of traffic camera data from local government websites.
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Someone used to periodically fork my repo of a college assignment and change all the text to Chinese. I assume they were stealing it but I don’t know. I think their name was spikerman but I’m probably misremembering.
Thanks for your service to the Chinese 🫡
There’s been so much tankie discourse that when I saw this in my inbox I genuinely thought someone was accusing me of being a shill for the Chinese government or something lmao.
Apparently the Chinese government has created their own “home grown” OS which apparently took 10 years and thousands of programmers and is basically just Ubuntu underneath
I’m proud of you!! That’s huge. You should give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Verifiable progress and it’s only up from here, keep it up :)
Honestly I don’t know- I’ve been very lazy and lacking motivation for while so it’s kinda going down
I would lack motivation too if I grew up with a mom like that. You need to eject her talk from your head. Every day you wake up a new person and whatever had happened earlier is nothing but memories. Begin again. You’re free, and life is full of opportunities.
That’s not why I don’t have motivation.
That’s 102 stars more than my best… Nicely done :)
At least his heinously critical mom still looks young, I guess 🤷
Although most would probably count it as a negative that she looks to be the same age as her son.
Or maybe it’s an unintended aspect of the art style and I should stop overanalysing everything like a goddamn moron, like MY mom keeps telling me 😉
I think there is definitely so time traveling going on here.
What’s the GitHub link boss?
I wasn’t actually referencing 1 project but the sum of 4(but most of the stars are in one)- so here’s my profile
Very cool
I’m going to try the immersive language one. That sounds so cool!
Thanks! Lmk what you think and if you have questions
Yo why is this so relatable
so we have shared suffering
Is it this one? https://github.com/microsoft/tilecode
Xd, I don’t work for microsoft- but good job finding a repo with exactly 104 stars
It doesn’t mean anything, but I am happy for you.
Thanks I appreciate it
…and I took it personally.
