I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
For years the only happiness I’ve found has been by removing myself from the market entirely and just writing off the notion of being with someone, a “with no hope/expectations there is no letdown” kind of thing.
I was carrying on just fine like this until I got a beautiful new coworker a few months ago who laughs at even my worst jokes like it’s going out of style. Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years. Ugh, is it time to get on tinder? I fucking hate the whole enterprise of dating.
Sounds like you don’t have friends and you expect your partner to be your only source of emotional support. You should fix that before you try to be in a romantic relationship.
Cute. I’m not the one who needs to date someone to be happy.
I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
Okie dokie everyone, canuckkat is the best of us, he has never felt down for want of a relationship with someone. He just has SO many friends that he’s immune to romantic emotions.
And actually, my friends do fulfill 70% of my emotional needs and I’m pretty good at fulfilling my own needs as well. I have zero desire for a romantic relationship or connection at this point in my life.
I wonder if the downvotes are from people who think you sound incel-y. I mean, you do a little bit, but I think a lot of people nowadays identify with that “there’s no point dating” feeling, though are too nervous to voice it. All but the most narcisissistic of us have a little voice in the back of our minds giving ‘sage’ advice about how worthless we are from time to time, and if you’ve dealt with a lot of rejection that only gets reinforced.
If you do try stuff like tinder, be well advised that it’s a very long shot. You might be better off with a paid service like match.com… my dad found love after his divorce pretty quickly when he joined that site, I assume because anyone who’s paying to be on a dating site is more invested in finding that someone special vs apps like tinder which incentivise short-term approach to dating.
I dated women in their 40s while I was early 20s, we got some funny looks occasionally but generally no-one gave a shit. What two consenting adults do is their own business. Though now I’m in my early 40s, I don’t think I’d have a lot in common with someone at 21; and maintain that just because it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s ethical, someone at 18 just does not have the life experience nor fully-formed pre frontal cortex to deal with someone who’s fully-adult. Ripe for abuse imo.
Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years.
Just ask her if she knows of any single women your age she can set you up with. If she really likes you, she’ll tell them what a great person you are. Or maybe she can give you tips about where to meet someone, how to ask someone out, etc.
Don’t despair for having a potentially good friendship, those can be just as valuable as physical relationships.
I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
Hate to break it to you, but you framing this as in inherent part of yourself does not really help in dealing with it. It is something you can absolutely work on and for the sake of your mental health I hope you will be able to do that.
I agree with others, man. What’s the age difference? Because I understand someone being too young (I’m 28 and I’m not sure I could date someone under 24 for example). Just very curious! You never know
I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
For years the only happiness I’ve found has been by removing myself from the market entirely and just writing off the notion of being with someone, a “with no hope/expectations there is no letdown” kind of thing.
I was carrying on just fine like this until I got a beautiful new coworker a few months ago who laughs at even my worst jokes like it’s going out of style. Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years. Ugh, is it time to get on tinder? I fucking hate the whole enterprise of dating.
How “too old” are we talking here
I’m 84 and she’s 16
Are you sure you’re not a reddit mod?
I cant tell if you’re piling on with my joke or if you’re being the joke police, because my first downvote came right when you commented.
Either way I take offense to the accusation.
Lol
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Sounds like you don’t have friends and you expect your partner to be your only source of emotional support. You should fix that before you try to be in a romantic relationship.
No YOU sound like you don’t have friends!
>storms off in a huff
Cute. I’m not the one who needs to date someone to be happy.
Okie dokie everyone, canuckkat is the best of us, he has never felt down for want of a relationship with someone. He just has SO many friends that he’s immune to romantic emotions.
“Just get more friends bro”
Not even a he 🤣
And actually, my friends do fulfill 70% of my emotional needs and I’m pretty good at fulfilling my own needs as well. I have zero desire for a romantic relationship or connection at this point in my life.
Idk if dating is inherently bad, but the soulcrushing drive for profit that has consumed modern dating has defintely made it horrible.
I wonder if the downvotes are from people who think you sound incel-y. I mean, you do a little bit, but I think a lot of people nowadays identify with that “there’s no point dating” feeling, though are too nervous to voice it. All but the most narcisissistic of us have a little voice in the back of our minds giving ‘sage’ advice about how worthless we are from time to time, and if you’ve dealt with a lot of rejection that only gets reinforced.
If you do try stuff like tinder, be well advised that it’s a very long shot. You might be better off with a paid service like match.com… my dad found love after his divorce pretty quickly when he joined that site, I assume because anyone who’s paying to be on a dating site is more invested in finding that someone special vs apps like tinder which incentivise short-term approach to dating.
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I dated women in their 40s while I was early 20s, we got some funny looks occasionally but generally no-one gave a shit. What two consenting adults do is their own business. Though now I’m in my early 40s, I don’t think I’d have a lot in common with someone at 21; and maintain that just because it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s ethical, someone at 18 just does not have the life experience nor fully-formed pre frontal cortex to deal with someone who’s fully-adult. Ripe for abuse imo.
deleted by creator
Just ask her if she knows of any single women your age she can set you up with. If she really likes you, she’ll tell them what a great person you are. Or maybe she can give you tips about where to meet someone, how to ask someone out, etc.
Don’t despair for having a potentially good friendship, those can be just as valuable as physical relationships.
Hate to break it to you, but you framing this as in inherent part of yourself does not really help in dealing with it. It is something you can absolutely work on and for the sake of your mental health I hope you will be able to do that.
I agree with others, man. What’s the age difference? Because I understand someone being too young (I’m 28 and I’m not sure I could date someone under 24 for example). Just very curious! You never know