• 3 Posts
  • 22 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 5th, 2023

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  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldSamsung Buds?
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    11 months ago

    I had a pair of Jabra elite, and they got destroyed, so I have been without, I was guessing they would be similar, but change can be hard so I was looking for some ideas on what to expect, but now that you mention it you never know what she has found and called it Samsung, so knowing about the others is not such a bad idea.







  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    Yes, I was excited similar to the person you described, but I wasn’t in a position to act it out at the time. I still felt it though!

    I am very glad because I felt like I brought joy to your life.

    And I will I have a bookmark placed on your comment so I can get back to it. If I come up with questions I will put it in a reply here so you will get a notification.


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    If you’re not hurting anyone with what you do (at least not intentionally and when you realze you do, you stop),

    I am sure you have heard this, and it has been misattributed so many times I am not sure who to credit but: “The right to swing your fist ends at my nose.”

    That was always the struggle for me, that part of my brain was never there I had to learn to fake having it so I could “fit in” and not get beat up, or worse (but there was still worse) but that act is exhausting. I don’t want to have to act anymore, at all, but if I don’t not even my mom wants anything to do with me.


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    You have a great outlook, I spent so much time “keeping up appearances” and it damn near killed me. I swang the other way and it damn near did the same thing, I guess now I am looking for my middle ground. Just enough of an ass to scare off most of the hateful bitter people, just kind enough to not be a doormat. Anything that is left is just the shine on the coin.


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    Okay, so first wow and thank you, that is a lot and I am going to need to read it a few times and I love it!

    Now I have to tell you the first few sentences I had a person with hands together 🙏clapping them rapidly right at their sternum. And for the rest there was a hurried voice and someone repeatedly returning up and down to and from tip toes. And-it-was-magical.

    Now I am going to read that like 5 times so I can absorb it. And thank you again…I will also look at that book, but I generally run stuff like that by my therapist first to make sure it doesn’t clash with what we are working on at the moment.



  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    You have a way of explaining things that seems to make better sense to me. I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to help. You have given me a lot to think over and some concrete ideas to try out.

    I am always amazed when I cross paths with such helpful people. You are an exceptionally kind person.

    Again thank you!


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    I hope this isn’t bothersome, but I want to understand, I am hearing, find comfort in conversation. I have trouble with conversational skill (there’s a surprise lol), so I have come to understand there will never be a conversation I come away from feeling “right”, but if I understand you correctly, it would be a good idea to stick with people, given the choice, that have conversation characteristics that keep us both comfortable.

    I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your input. I know over time I have lost a lot of my people skill, not that I want the mask back I just want some form of socialization.


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    This feels like a likely theory. Something like:

    I thought I could help (knew something, whatever) but turns out I don’t. Now I am embarrassed, and don’t want to admit my mistake.

    That is valid. I could give some grace to that situation, this really did help. I was ready to be angry about it, but this is much better.


  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldNoticing a pattern.
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    11 months ago

    I appreciate this, I tend to forget my America centric world view, and I can see this as a more cultural thing maybe?..it feels very disrespectful, I feel like once there is engagement there needs to be some closure to the conversation. In fact I often find myself in an anxious state waiting for a response, and I do my best not to be hypocritical I try not to cause that same anxiety.

    Anyway thank you for the response, and perspective.




  • I hope this broken tribe mentality clears in this community much more quickly than it has in the LGBTQIA+ community. I wouldn’t say we are done with it yet there are so many in the gay community that still want to exclude parts for what seems like bigotry. There are necessary executions simply for the protection of others, but consenting adults and all that.

    Back on track, the sooner this community (nurodivergent, autistic, whatever you want to call it) would be wise to take a lesson from us. There are many who are of both communities, so I have hope. We need people like you, me and others that see this and think the in-fights are a problem to calmly, rationally educate, point to the past, and lead by example.


  • I am kinda old, I got my diagnosis late because when I was in grade school, no one talked about autism, I was just “special” I was passed grade to grade because I would “catch up eventually” I grew up through a lot of change, I saw the LGBTQIA+ community go through something very similar to this. When we were allowed to “come out” and be less scared the community was so tribal. The gay men didn’t want the lesbians around and vice versa, no one believed bisexuals existed, and you were only transexual on the weekends to make money. Or that was the thinking then.

    Now we, for the most part, see the value of working together, the strength in numbers, we have shed some of the internalized homophobia and found a collective voice to fight against the attacks from the outside and stop perpetuating them internally.

    This seems the same tribalism we are seeing in the nurodivergent world right now. There will be a time to come together, and fight the attacks from the outside, a time to raise our voice together and protect our own, but for now, each individual that see this as problematic must begin the cry to end the infighting and strengthen our group and show what we can do collectively.