First of all, I realize this is probably more of a shortcoming on my part, but nevertheless, I am who I am.

My wife has gotten really into “romance reality” TV in the past year. In recent months, it has reached a fever pitch where she is just walking around with a show playing out loud on her phone almost all the time. Doing chores? Watching love is blind. In between a match while we’re gaming together? Blasting love island. I generally keep earbuds in so I don’t have to listen to it, and because Im sure she doesn’t want to hear my shows just like I don’t want to hear hers.

I make an honest effort to avoid the inane types of people who go on these shows in the real world, so to come home to what used to be a sanctuary and have to jam earbuds in and move all the way across the house to not be subjected to the dumbassery those people exude is exausting and has me at the absolute end of my rope. Its gotten to a point where I might actually go run errands at random times just to get some peace. I know she sees it as an “unwind” which I don’t understand but I can at least accept. I’ve made my position on these types of shows unabashedly clear on many occasions, perhaps being harder on them than I should be.

If she had kept watching her usual dramas it wouldn’t even be an issue for me, it’s just the endless barrage of utter idiocy and manufactured drama out of these people’s mouths that I can’t stand.

How can I go about bringing up that this is a problem for me without sounding like a “stop having fun” type or seeming condescending about her TV choices?

  • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
    4·
    9 months ago

    Yeah, I have no idea how this will be received, or how accurate any of it is to the guy’s situation. But what’s going on from the way the guy describes it goes a bit beyond enjoying a popular genre of TV show.

    • DessertStorms@kbin.social
      61·
      9 months ago

      I’m not going to armchair diagnose anyone, but if you’re going to do it to anyone in this post, it’s the person who wrote it and who is having this much of an issue with their partner doing something she enjoys.

      The entire situation could reasonably be resolved by asking her to put headphones on, but it isn’t about that, it’s about OP looking down on people who watch these kinds of shows, and thinking less of their partner for it, which is super fucking shitty. As is trying to frame those who watch them as maladaptive addicts who must have something wrong in their lives to justify their viewing habits.

      Seriously… 🤦‍♀️

      (E: oh, and just to pre-empt any assumptions: I don’t personally enjoy those shows, literally never watched them ever, so this isn’t about being defensive, it’s about not being an ass)

      • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
        3·
        9 months ago

        I didn’t think that “have you investigated whether your wife is unhappy with something and attempted to address the underlying issue” would be viewed as such a wife-blaming take on things, but it seems you’re not alone in seeing it that way.

        I edited my post to remove talk about addiction. Speaking as a maladaptive addict, I didn’t view what I was saying as in any way blaming / shaming her or anything, but I can see how it comes across that way. I think it’s definitely valid that a much milder interpretation (it’s basically fine and she’s just watching shows) is equally consistent with what he was saying as my interpretation is, so I edited my comment to ask him for a little more quantitative information.