Like… How do you do things that are good for you and necessary?
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That’s the neat thing, I don’t.
All the things here.
The method I’ve been having most success with lately is a severe restriction of myself.
Part of that is because if I don’t wanna do the Thing, it’s so incredibly easy to forget the Thing, my mind doesn’t wanna hold it.
Currently, the routine I follow when I fail to self-motivate is
- Drop my kid off
- Maybe remember pills
- Maybe remember caffeine (coffee is my goto)
- Sit on the couch, think about my day
- The remote is close, do a YouTube on my TV.
- 4 YouTubes in, now understand the Chinese role in ww2 and the life cycle of 2 different moths, realize I have things to do.
- Get up, forget the things, make too much food.
- Watch things on my phone/scroll Lemmy/play mobile games
- Oh crap I have to get my kid
I have found that removing individual parts, like telling myself “no YouTube today”, only works temporarily, until I get distracted by something else, then I forget the new rule. So all it really does is reorder the schedule above.
BUT, I have found that removing all of the distractions, even the important ones like food, until I have begun the important task, helps.
So based on what I typed above, my rule for the day looks like No YouTube, no social media, no mobile games, no breakfast, no sitting on the couch I have to spell out each thing, I can’t just say “no distractions”, because the me in the moment thinks it’s a break or I’m warming up to doing the thing, some nonsense.
After an hour of doing the Thing, I get a break for breakfast, it is important. But once ive put that time into doing the Thing, it’s a lot easier to get back to it.
So the new schedule is
- Drop my kid off
- Know I need to do something, but the Thing has slipped my mind.
- Mentally run through a list of things I could do. Because so much is banned, and the Thing is forgotten, this turns up nothing.
- Realize I haven’t taken my pills or made coffee, do those
- After those, I remember why those are all I’m allowed to do, and therefore remember the Thing.
- Delay a bit because the Thing is boring or hard, but still can’t do anything else
- Do. The. THING. (For an hour)
- Breakfast, which feels so good, and dopamines the brain, hopefully making the Thing easier in the future.
- Do more Thing.
I hope this helps. This is only possible because of my prescribed Meth, caffeine, and because I’m actually a lot better at telling myself what not to do than to just do something. Good luck, we all need it.
For me it works with these two tweaks:
- the list is written, never just in my head
- I go through the items one by one and “simulate” them briefly in my head. Then do what feels right, no pressure, also fine to do nothing. Only the “simulation” is mandatory
That is the real miracle method I’ve been chasing all my life.
I’m definitely gonna try that, then.
Tell me how it went. I’m curious if it’s the best of all methods, or just what works for me.
Last time I had to do The ThingTM, I didn’t go “let’s do The ThingTM,” I went “let’s get ahead of people yelling at me and do The ThingTM.”
Amphetamines
Edit: Seriously, nothing, and I mean nothing helps motivate you the way stimulants can. You can’t do this on your own. Your brain doesn’t produce the dopamine you need to be a functioning adult on its own; you need drugs to make up for it. Fact of life; nothing to be ashamed of.
Sadly my blood pressure won’t allow me to take stims anymore. It SUCKS.
(Yes, I’ve tried other alternatives, but they don’t work for me)
You’re right, the alternatives don’t work. I’ve tried every antidepressant and mood stabilizer in the book.
Try to work on getting that blood pressure down so that you can get the meds you need. Or just do what I do and bypass the doctor. It’s risky but I absolutely can not function as an adult without Adderall so I take my chances. Hell, I didn’t move out of my parents’ house until my 30s, when I finally discovered amphetamines.
I went on Vyvanse, a slow release amphetamine, and 2 weeks later had a heart attack. I’m pretty sure it was related because I’d taken dexies about 10 years before and stopped after a month due to chest pains, and also the first day I was on Vyvanse I got chest pains again, but the doctor said it was fine so I kept taking them.
What is fucking wrong with your doctor
Sometimes “micro yesses” work for me. That’s where you turn “getting started” into something absurdly simple. Like, way simpler than you think. If your goal is to do the laundry, your “micro yes” is not grabbing the laundry basket, or going into the bedroom, or even standing up. It’s to wiggle your toes.
Start with the smallest possible thingie.
I have noticed that a lot of my drive to do better comes from spite. To spite my family, showing them that i am better than them and did it without them on my own!
Lower my expectations
Gamification
I’ve developed a complex pomodoro system that encourages me to complete a number of pomodoro clocks per day, per week, etc. I’ve completed it with music auto triggers, completion of Streak tasks and calendar events so I can see what I did when.
Also helps with becoming more time aware of how long common tasks take.
It’s constantly evolving too, last addition is that on sick days or mental health down days I’m allowed to complete 4 pomodoro tasks for being sick.
Make things simple. I hate doing dishes but if the sink is emptyish and the dry rack is empty I can do the dishes no problem, the hard part is doing the dishes consistently to keep the sink and dry rack that way.
Or cleaning the bathroom; have everything needed right there under the sink, and have the process down because I get easily agitated so if I have to dig for a brush in another room and then look for soap etc I just rather not. If everything is right there under the sink and I look at the toilet and think it needs a cleaning I don’t even have to leave the room to start it makes it a lot easier to suddenly talk myself into it
Yup. I’ve fallen so deep in the stuckness of mess. Easier when keeping the load and complexity low.
Inspiration.
… alas, much falls to neglect relying solely on this method.
I don’t 🤷
Drink!
Simply do things before you can think about it. It takes a lot of time to train your brain for it but I swear it works. I think about my goals the day before and keep them in mind. When I feel that little thought of “I should” I do. It’s not 100% effective all the time but honestly just make everything as simple to complete as you can and keep tasks you want to do your back of your mind and then pull that trigger whenever possible without question.
Todo lists too
But yeah if I let myself have that time to think about my task I can usually always convince myself to do it later and that’s my problem I think
A reminder app
