I asked what we meant and she replied with: “no wonder you don’t know”

then I said if she wanted to be, and that if she didn’t want me to talk to her then I wouldn’t

  • Mac@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    3 days ago

    Don’t respond with a vague question to let them lead the way. Tell them what you want and be clear.

    “Are we in the talking stage?”
    “I want to be, so yes. / No, I’m not there yet. / No, that’s not what I’m looking for.”

    Being vague will only lead to missed opportunities and create confusion in your relationships whether romantic or otherwise.
    ✨Communication✨

    • dnick@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 days ago

      That really assumes the person being asked has some idea what the talking phase is. You literally cannot clearly answer a question that doesn’t make sense. Is ‘talking’ a positive thing? An ‘only friends’ reference? Coming back from an argument?

      • Mac@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        2 days ago

        The “talking phase” is an extremely common term for a specific place in a relationship, especially for younger people.

        I personally don’t use it because it leaves too much ambuguity but that’s not up to me.

        • dnick@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          12 hours ago

          What specific phase is it? I know you mention there is ambiguity, but is it something before asking someone on a serious date? Is it after a few dates and deciding if things are serious?

          I think all I was saying is that you can’t give advice like ‘don’t pussyfoot around, just answer the question’ when a big part of the topic is ‘what does this question mean?’

          • Mac@mander.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            8 hours ago

            It’s when you’re both interested and talking to each other with intent but haven’t started actively dating.

            The ambiguity, to me, is that it usually hasn’t been long enough to find out whether you’re exclusive or not, which is why i dont even label this phase.

            It’s fine if you don’t apply a certain meaning to it but plenty of people do. Obviously you would just ask them what they mean.

        • hamFoilHat@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          2 days ago

          The post you are commenting in is literally an 18 year old who doesn’t know what “talking phase” means, in fact you seem to be the only one in this entire comment section who has heard it before. Kinda a big Stacy to call the phrase “extremely common”.