Let me tell you about my American dream. Imagine if you will, every shit you take is a one whiper. Horrid diarrhea, one whiper, constipated shit tail that barely drops, one whiper, even your average everyday shit, a one whiper! Now imagine a welcome to your porcelain throne, a lid raising to greet you, a relaxing night nightlight, a preheated seat and even a pre-cleaning spray to ensure your shit doesn’t stick to the bowl… No more imagining, this is no longer a dream, this is in fact a top of the line Toto bidet brought to you by our friends from Japan. It’s time to invest, you deserve to have your hole automatically cleaned by a gentle heated oscillating spray and then dried with a nice warm blow. Leaving only one whipe for you to finish the drying process and to see for yourself, the magesty of a clean post whipe 3 sheets of toilet paper.
This guy shits
That’s just standard equipment for professional shitposters.
If you have that much ass hair, does using a bidet technically count as doing laundry? 🤔
Thoughts with the deep
Yes, yes it does.
That title 🤌
☠️
more of a shitpost than a meme
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The heading made me laugh so hard
You mean free floss?
LPT: Thongs are the cure for swamp-ass. If you can, get some wool ones.
Wool thongs? Where? I just bought some… idk Rayon? Tencel?
I had to get them custom made on Etsy. $45ish each, but 100% worth it. I highly advise against most synthetic fabrics, though.
I have some micromodal ones that are nice, but nothing performs like wool. I’ll take them off at the end of the day and they’ll be wet from sweat, but my skin is dry.
And that’s saying something, because I have hyperhydrosis.
Interesting. I already have a love for wool, perhaps I will be following down your same path.
Also thank you for sharing and then going into detail!
Jockstraps too.
Jockstraps don’t go in your butt crack, though. Thongs act like a sweat wick.
Jockstraps provide the desperate breeze that my rainforest ass needs
…like peanut butter in the carpet
Buy a bidet that’s $200 or more. Especially if you’re a functioning alcoholic. It’ll change your drinking shits game.
Be sure to shampoo and condition it properly. No one likes a messy ass of hair.
I was plenty awkward, but ass hair? At 12?
Keeps your ass warm when streaking after having a few to many drinks!
Ass hair is fine but nose hair!!!
flushable wet wipes is a new, life-changing discovery to me
A cheap bidet is like, thirty bucks?
Bitet instead. Those wipes are okay occasionally or while traveling
