I think that’s going to be something personal to each of us. For me having medication gave me the give a damn to, for instance, make sure all dishes are handled before bed. Pre-meds I’d let them go “til the next day” far too often, with meds I was able to make a nightly rule that the sink has to be empty. When I had to go off meds that rule was still in my head, and I knew that if I didn’t keep the rule I’d undo the habit and leaving dishes in the sink wouldn’t feel “wrong” anymore. So I embraced that “dishes in the sink overnight is wrong” feeling and that carried me through til I got back on meds. (There was MUCH whining, both internal and external, lol, but they got done!)
In the last 8 months I’ve gone to bed with dishes in the sink probably less than 5 times. And that used to be a HUGE issue for me. But now the rule is engrained enough that I’ll plan my evening to make sure it gets done, even if that means doing it in chunks throughout the evening.
It’s been a slow process and I’m still not as put together as I’d like to be, and I probably never will be, but the meds are at least giving me a fighting chance.
I basically picked a couple things that felt really important (I brush my teeth every night now!) And found my internal motivation (I hate the way my mouth feels if I go to bed without brushing) , as well as the tricks to make sure I did the things (I’m not allowed to turn off the bathroom light til I brush my teeth, that way I can’t sleep cuz the light is on) and once those new rules are easy to follow I have the mental space to pick something new to add.
I wish I could be more helpful, but like I said, I feel like each of us have so many variables as to what works and what doesn’t. I’m also pretty sure I’m on the autism spectrum (I keep forgetting to bring it up with my Dr so I can get evaluated, lol) so god knows how that may affect things as far as habit building for me.
There’s a YouTube channel I really like, “How to ADHD” , she has great tips for habit building, and because she goes over so many ideas I was able to pick and choose the strategies that felt right for me.
Jesus … two families, many many friends, just horribly killed on what was supposed to be a happy day.
Words are failing me, that’s just really fucking sad.