I’m in more or less the opposite scenario. I used to be able to actually do shit, then something snapped and it’s far more difficult for me to do anything efficiently. I think what snapped was effectively my self confidence. After a period of existential crisis, things stopped feeling so important all of a sudden. So the herculean effort that allowed me to complete all my work and keep up on everything stopped being possible, because it briefly became impossible leading me to recognize how unsustainable that was.

Now I’m in a position where I still try to get what I need to done, but I try not to stress about it so much and I prefer to do what I want. And making myself do what I need to do is partially a matter of medication (Vyvanse) and partially trying to find reasons to enjoy/prefer the tasks that are important for my survival, then capitalizing on that intrigue/excitement.

Basically, I guess it comes down to choosing to accept whatever our current reality is and trying to work from there. There are reasons that I’m fortunate, just as there are reasons others would probably say I’m falling behind in life. Doesn’t really matter in the end. All any of us can do is what we can actually do. If we don’t allow that to be enough, we’ll drive ourselves insane with the dissonance.

Never been part of that community personally, but thanks for helping to support the platform. Even if you’re not seeing much traction, it’s appreciated. What would you think of picking the most engaging Reddit content and migrate it here to help boost community size? Or maybe posting to Reddit with a watermark/credit leading to your Lemmy community?

I think Lemmy would either need to find a way to wean Redditors off of their dopamine machine or replace that dopamine machine long-term to sustain an exodus from Reddit. Either that, or Reddit will need to break their dopamine feedback loop. There are some cracks showing, and that might have already killed the platform in the long term, but it’ll keep going from pure momentum for a while. Maybe as long as months or years.

Seems like there’s more sexists and racists than I used to see over there, which is definitely offputting. I’ve found communities that are supportive of thoughtful discussion are more appealing, and Reddit definitely lacks that lately, outside of some small, relatively niche communities.

Good to hear! Next step is to look at why it didn’t fit. Where do dimensions need tweaked? Is the printer calibrated correctly and printing at 1:1 scale? I’m not sure how to recalibrate if the printer is the problem, but you could scale the whole print up/down when you generate the print file.

To test the printer, make a simple cube that’s something like 1" on each side. I’d use 25mm for metric. Then, check how large the final print is. You’ll want to check each direction since there are different stepper motors controlling each axis of movement, so each one could be slightly different

I’ll second getting digital calipers to make things easy. I should really just buy a pair myself already, I’ve just been making do with a ruler.

FreeCad is another free option I don’t see mentioend yet. It works but is frustrating to use because it’s buggy and fights with you.

Generally, I think of 3D design like legos or scultping. You need to build pieces and “glue” them together. It’s okay to have 2 objects taking up the same space too. If you can imagine 3D objects and how they fit together you’ll find it a bit easier.

I hope your new diagnosis helps you. Learning more about how you think, what motivates you, and what holds you back can help a lot with choosing realistic and satisfying goals. If you keep at it, I think you’ll figure out how to achieve something you can call success.

And for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s possible to be a failure, but I do understand the pain of defeat. Thinking more about it, defeat seems like the pain of wanting something, believing (correctly or otherwise) that it’s impossible, and then continuing to hold onto that desire. It’s the gap between what we believe to be possible and our expectations, not all that different from grief.

I’ll have you know it’s perfectly unnatural when I invert my corporeal form to assimilate my terrified victims into the eldritch void where my soul used to be.

But in all seriousness, agreed. It’s not possible for something that’s part of nature to be unnatural. All behaviors are natural. Some behaviors pose a threat to the individual or society at large, and that’s the only case where any action should be considered, but only as a harm reduction strategy rather than punitive. An individual’s sexuality, gender identity, etc., definitely don’t qualify as dangerous.

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Alright, thanks! That still adds an interesting new considering to housing searches, although it might be a bit of a risky move. Public perception can sometimes create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Are there any communities you’d recommend? Looking for somewhere reasonably safe with good internet and walkability at a reasonable price. If you know of a neighborhood where violence has been blown way out of proportion, that sounds like a golden opportunity.

I’m currently working full time in web development. Cost of living is just crazy compared to what I’ve been able to find for suitable employment, and while it doesn’t help that the types of work I tolerate well are perhaps limited by neurodivergence, I don’t think it’s the primary factor.

But that’s beside the point. I was more just saying that there are definitely people who can present as though they’re doing about as well as you could expect of a person with their background without considering neurodivergence, but still qualify for a diagnosis. Or put another way, it’s possible, in some cases, to work hard enough to fly under the radar and not even recognize it yourself. I didn’t have any issues with independence, really, until I hit an intense burnout from extreme levels of overwork and overall stress. I wouldn’t be shocked to learn of others in my position, so I’m hesitant to suggest someone may not resonate fully with the experience just because they haven’t hit their limit yet.

If you are able to function independently, then you probably won’t be clinically diagnosed even if you have some struggles here and there.

I disagree. I have official diagnoses for both ADHD and ASD and am mostly functional most of the time. If I earned enough, I’d be living on my own. I was diagnosed as an adult within the past few years while working nearly full time and I made it on time to each of the several appointments that went into getting that diagnosis. If what you say is true, I doubt the assessor would have been willing to give a diagnosis.

You know, I hadn’t thought about it too much in this context, but I do more or less the same. When I’m around anyone at all, I’m conscious of all my behaviors. The only way I can really turn it off is weed/alcohol, and even then the instinct is just dulled a little, not switched off. I don’t think the majority of people are nearly that aware of how each movement or sound they make might be perceived by others. It’s largely unconscious for most. And I don’t think it’s an inherent wiring difference either.

I think growing up different and constantly having it impressed upon you that every single way you’re different is wrong takes a toll. Other people are pushing you into a box and demanding you behave this way, not that way. Until you either learn to reject (at least some of) those rules or are pushed so far you burn out and can no longer conform, it’s constant stress. And it’s so constant that you probably aren’t even fully aware of it, particularly if you’re also alexithymic and generally have to work harder to identify your emotional state/response to a situation under the best of circumstances.

This leads me to another aspect. If we’re viewed as too rigid, then allistics’ intrinsic/core selves are perhaps comparatively more malleable. Their core underlying personality is perhaps more ready to adopt the behaviors and beliefs of the group. Quicker to be guided by faith. In which case, perhaps for an allistic person, this pushing and prodding doesn’t create this emotional/mental tension in the same way it does when it pushes an autist to mask. Granted, this feels like it’s painting an unreasonably broad brush, but maybe there’s something to it.

Also, the most solitary jobs I know of are in the tech industry. Otherwise, for really isolated jobs, maybe fire watch or possibly lighthouse work if there are openings. If you have relevant skills, you might be able to work in web design, system administration, or as a programmer (“individual contributor”) with minimal public interaction. I’m lucky enough that my managers have more or less recognized that I’m very reluctant to deal directly with customers, so I only have to interact with my small team for the most part. This likely would hurt my ability to progress to higher pay, but certainly avoids certain types of stress, and with the way the last half a decade has gone, I’m only just now reaching a point where I might have energy for that broader social interaction again.

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So I designed the company in a way that makes my personal limits less of a problem…

Interesting. It sounds to me like you used your strengths to streamline your process such that your limits don’t come up as much. By working towards solutions that accommodated your limits, you built software that would make life easier for anyone (provided they can figure out the software). The same approach would probably work well for me.

they found a flaw in our contracts and took off with like 50k [+250k in damages]

Ah, that would make me hesitant to take on partners too. I’ve had some small setbacks from trusting people, but never quite that much (granted, I’ve never had that much to lose). Sucks you had that happen. Crazy that it was a previously reliable employee who turned on you like that too.

I don’t know that I would be able to work with partners I couldn’t trust. Even if I could keep them at arms length and remain suspicious, the added effort of having to handle that on top of everything else wouldn’t be worth it, not to mention there would be too high of a chance they’d eventually stab me in the back. If it’s a choice between working with someone I can’t trust or trying to go at it alone, working alone is definitely a better choice. I agree with you there. I’ll keep that in mind as I continue working on this problem. If I do look for a business partner, I’d be looking for someone who comes across as unflinchingly transparent, and whose transparency reveals strong integrity and a collaborative spirit.

Thanks, listing out some specific experts to talk to and describing the overall process is helpful! I suppose I’ll need to return to that project and work out the remaining bugs, revisit my business plan, talk with some consultants, and then look into funding. Given that my project requires custom-manufactured hardware, the upfront cost could be eye wateringly high, potentially > $100k if I needed to start generating revenue quickly.

Sounds like you might have gotten a gray hair or two already dealing with this stuff, prepare for more.

It was definitely a challenging few years, between that and everything else going on in my life. I don’t mind hard work. I’d rather spend my time doing something meaningful to me than working on whatever a manager dictates I should do. I do need time to relax and recharge, but there’s nothing saying I can’t do both.

Partners were what nearly brought me down.

Could you expand on that a little? I’ve been looking for partners because I’ve come to understand that certain tasks burn me out quickly, which leads me to think one or more partners will need to take on those tasks in my case. Did you have a bad experience with a partnership? Couldn’t find anyone who was competent and interested?

It’s hard to find examples of autistic entrepreneurs, and neurodiverse-friendly resources for starting a business are hard to find online. If you were so inclined, I think sharing your experience in a book/website could help a lot of aspiring innovators. (How did you research? What business structures have you tried? What roadblocks did you hit/what solutions did you find that worked for you? How was your experience convincing people to trust/work with you?, etc.)

Mind if I ask if you have any advice for an aspiring entrepreneur? I had an electronics project that I tried to get off the ground. I managed to teach myself what I needed, but I’m stumped by lack of funding, time, and an aversion to the social aspects. I figure I need to find cofounders who can take on that work, but no one I know has the time, and few if any have the skills. Plus as a self-taught electronics designer, I can’t ignore a concern that there could easily be a major mistake that’ll affect reliability/lifespan of whatever I produce.

I have ideas in varying stages for electronics and software. Not many I’ve started on, but a few I’ve at least started basic planning for.

In my admittedly limited and likely biased experience, progressives and further left tend to be more critical in the way they approach authority figures. The GOP is just pissed they can’t as easily indoctrinate younger generations into fighting against their own interests.

I’ve heard it said several times, the GOP tends to say the opposite of what they mean. “college kids are being indoctrinated” = “umm, guys, we’re having a hard time indoctrinating the college kids…”

(This turned into a bit of a wall of text, so I hid the longer paragraphs in spoiler tags with a “TL;DR” as the label)

Definitely sounds like a tough one to find, unfortunately. The one I found was willing to assess me as an adult white man for AuDHD, and I believe he had some adult women as patients, but I don’t know if he would know how to approach an adult diagnosis for a high masking woman.

On a related note, if you haven’t seen this list of resources linked in the sidebar yet, there’s some interesting stuff in there. I know that Yo Samdy Sam, the last YouTube channel linked there, is an adult-diagnosed AuDHD woman. Her experience might be relatable/a useful reference point.

For what it’s worth, you seem genuine to me. And from my understanding, the vast majority of people who seek a diagnosis in good faith and put forth the effort to understand the condition well enough to tentatively self-diagnose are correct in their assessment. With or without diagnosis, if you have done the legwork and feel it’s a strong possibility, you’re welcome to consider yourself included.

Yeah, it’s frustrating how expensive those evals can be. I couldn’t even get them to give me a price when I was looking into it. Because I couldn’t agree without knowing the cost, they suggested someone else who wouldn’t do a full psych eval, but would bill it (mostly) as a normal psychiatrist visit and give a more general “yes or no” answer. Maybe that’s an option? Insurance might be more willing to cover that too.