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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • I don’t know you but I’m certain everyone doesn’t hate you. This guy probably doesn’t hate you.

    It’s okay to feel bad about rejection. But there are other people. Sit with your feelings for a bit if it helps, but then dust yourself off. It’s going to be okay. If this guy wasn’t interested in you as you are, it wasn’t going to be a good match anyway.

    Like, I have the standard set of nerd hobbies (books, video games, etc) and sometimes I go on a date and discover the other person thinks that’s gross. “Waste of time” someone said to me recently. Feels bad. But then I go on another date and the persons eyes light up as they tell me about their Path of Exile build. There’s all sorts of people. Don’t worry too much if any particular person doesn’t click with you.

    I’m kind of assuming from the text that you’re young. That means lots more runway, and also your peers are probably on average inexperienced messy people. Dating and relationships are skills that improve with practice.




  • Group membership matters to all of us. It’s like one of the primary drivers of belief. We might think we’re rational and cool logical people but that’s a lie. We trust people we see as being in-group, and we trust facts from them.

    For some people, like many republicans, it’s also the only thing that really matters.

    This may have been a viable strategy in like 3000BCE when you had to stick with your group of idiots, because otherwise you’d be left for dead or worse by the enemy tribe. It’s not really a solid strategy in 2025CE.

    But that’s really the whole problem. People (often but not always republicans) put their group membership ahead of everything else. This is happening like deep in the emotional part of their psyche. There’s no easy fix. You’d probably have to get them to join some other group and see that as primary, like maybe appeal to their sense of being American, but it’s going to be hard when there’s a lot of them. It’s like gravity, they all pull each other into the group.

    I don’t know how to fix this.



  • I see this a lot in all sorts of things and it drives me crazy. Why can’t people just care a little more?

    Like playing guild wars 2, big group boss fight. If everyone does a stun attack when the boss is vulnerable, it interrupts it and we’re more likely to win. But no, half the people can’t be assed to hit “5” on their keyboard instead of “1”.

    Or littering. There’s a trash can just down the block. Just hold onto your trash for a whole minute. Nope. Can’t be bothered. Onto the street it goes.

    I just want to shake people and ask them what the fuck is wrong with them. What is broken inside that you can’t just be a little better. I don’t need heroics or big risks. Just a tiny bit more. Just be a little bit more alive and awake.