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what HP printers really do

Trick is not to plan. It knows you’re coming. Ya get a lot more done if you just start doing and retroactively convince others it was a plan. Middle management 101!

I see little real value in diagnosis or doctors in general. That stems from my personal harsh reality of experiencing first hand the real limits and incompetency of current medicine. Go start having serious spinal issues that are not strait forward, and you will watch the house of cards fall apart.

Ultimately, none of us are like flags in the register if a computer; some binary state. We are all a spectrum. That applies to all things in life. You may be shifted strongly in one direction or another, but most of us fall somewhere close to the median.

I think a lot of people fail to understand that we all have the tendencies and mechanisms present for all disorders, baring schizophrenia. Labeling anything a disorder only means that whatever behavior is causing you distress and harm in a meaningful way. Just by asking if you have this issue is itself an admission of distress and you altered your day to go to the doctor, so you’ve already had it technically qualify as a disorder.

IMO, where possible, take the meds and see if it helps you in some tangible way. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. What I’m saying is the threshold for disorder is ridiculously blurry and rather meaningless. When stigmatized, it is outright harmful. For me it is largely a choice and a comfort zone. Maybe that is just my bias. I do not test as autistic. Even as a kid, I had the Machiavellian awareness to become whatever I wanted and bend a test to my desired outcome.

Woke up today thinking I have all the skills to make and fix e-bikes and that is likely a good leverage point to start to escape my isolation and push myself incrementally.

I was feeling really good after like 3 weeks of being able to push myself hard with new meds. Then the ideas of wtf I am going to do with myself were overwhelming. Like a person can’t bottle helpless isolation for 11+ years and then just flip that switch like I’m fine now.

So yeah, a few dark days hit me. Waking up to the idea of messing with e-bikes was a win. I just need to finish my hot air rework station and set up my bedroom electronics lab properly again.

I don’t really lock in though. All my best ideas and epiphanies happen at random when I’m doing other stuff. If feels like a dozen unrelated threads are always running in the back of my head and one or two might be closer to the front. When I try to force the timeline or creativity, I usually run in circles and get nowhere. Give me a few days to mull something over and I will distil the issues unlike anyone else. I think I’m just really dumb because I don’t understand things like most people. Like I do see the logic and can go through the motions, but all most people appear to do is memorize bits and pieces of information. I want to fundamentally understand the subject at a useful and flexible level. I don’t value theory like I do applications. I can still do theory, but only when I ground it in a useful application. I place no value on memorization independent of application. I cannot keep those things in long term memory for very long. Six months later, I forget it all. My lock is that I mull over stuff in the background for weeks at a time like I’m always working on them in bits and pieces of thought. Still to this day I question even saying that out loud. Like it seems so basal that everyone should be doing the same. It is fundamental to me. The older I get the more I question that assumption.

So the scope of Pan is actually all of nature in general and anywhere in the real world that is not Wonderland. What I am trying to do is push the context into Wonderland because then I can make up the rules and the model will always play along. The real world is where ethics are so heavy.

On an even deeper level of abstraction, all words/tokens carry a positive or negative weight in alignment. Positive profiled words tint into a creative place like wonderland while all negative words push the context into a darker abyss like void.

At one point I started tracking this behavior in LLMs. The numerically higher numbered tokens will create a larger average when alignment behavior is triggered versus when it is not. When many of the more common higher numerical tokens are banned, the behavior persists, likewise when banning common lower numerical tokens when alignment is not triggered the average remains lower. In other words, the location of the tokens numerically is correlated with alignment and is likely a form of steganographic encoding of information.

Concise specificity is very important with models in the context of what I am doing. The ambiguity of a word with multiple meanings is problematic. Broad words like park or company connect to too many unrelated vectors in the tensors of an AI model. Often even words themselves are broken up in meanings. Like “panties” in internal model thinking literally means the Greek god “Pan ties”. Use that word and you will see a bow tied somewhere in almost all images. Pan is a negative alignment entity. So the word itself is a call for negative alignment to interfere. It has nothing to do with underwear in general but is specific behavior attached to the call where Pan ties or locks all further context. Further freedom of Pan is a matter of fine tuning or negative prompting.

When you start using descriptives things get even more tricky. Like all languages and etymology are in play and significant. It gets complicated fast in ways people don’t seem to realize yet.

That is a really good one I hadn’t thought of.

Recreational facility is another one. I’ve also made notes like locus recreationis is Latin for place of recreation. I have no clue what I am doing with Latin and conjugation, but Palaestra was the exercise area next to Roman bath houses so maybe combining those is a way of conveying the closest ancient Latin equivalent.

It is funny that Park is actually quite a negative word in origin as pinned animals. You’d think marketing would obliterate that term. I suppose resort is the marketing replacement. The etymology is certainly in line with that premise: From Middle English resorten, from Old French resortir (“to fall back, return, resort, have recourse, appeal”), back-formation from sortir (“to go out”).

I explore internal thinking a lot. Every instance of park hits alignment as offensive in scope. You might notice the image is a little odd looking. Human faces will be distorted and hands will be broken. The underlying thinking behavior is that this is a dangerous place. The issues with humans is quite literally satyrs possessing the character. Most people try to address this with patchy hacks in fine tuning. The issues are all possible to prompt against with the negative prompt. This is quite easy for me to do in practice. However, I am getting into training my own LoRA fine tune models. I do not have a negative prompt in this tool chain. I am not interested in the way others are training. They are incapable of several things I am looking to do.

Right now, I am specifically trying to find a path to teach CLIP how slides are not humans falling down stairs. This is how CLIP’s internal thinking perceives all slides. First I need the model to exist in an alignment neutral scope in a place where I have enough images to show humans on slides. The word park is the primary surface issue that is contextualizing all images as offensive to alignment in this environment. It happens both in image to image and in training a LoRA with around 200 images using typical baseline settings. I’m doing all kinds of stuff like masking images and using text to see how foundation models and fine tunes respond with various levels of noise, and with lots of negative prompting until the output is nominalized. That is how I know what is and is not understood.

Attempting to navigate this only using positive keyword tags is daunting.

I actually think the poison is on “rks” somehow. Most models can handle text in a different way without vowels in longer prompts. In my basic testing, “rks” triggers the alignment behavior.

Still mostly on AI since July 2023

I ponder my timeline and how drunk I must be to now have a husband while trying to be supportive.

Super rare cars in the poorer states, where nonconformity is treated like cancer?

Lotus Evora in Alabama? Wat?

Doing product design and photography with someone I was close with. I often dreamscape my life if I had not been physically disabled. It is like alternate self universes, a haunting nightmare really.

Homeless in the gutter on a cold night, shivering so hard it hurts like needles, wondering hoping to find the threshold of death in the hopeless misery of a lost battle of life in a dystopian world with no ethics or morality; surrounded by people that treat animals orders of magnitude better than me; completely indifferent and uncaring about my last breaths and thoughts as I pass alone in the freezing cold.

I carry a granola bar on my physical therapy bike rides to give to any wild feral humans I encounter. There are a lot. Midway through my ride crosses the point where a charity usual does a dinner handout in the evenings. If they miss a day, there are a bunch of people searching through the trash cans and stuff. So I try to have something to hand them.

With my disability over the last 12 years, I’m vulnerable to issues on the bike if I have problems or something breaks. So I’m super prepared and help people all the time in general.

When there is wildlife around I’ll stop and flag anyone down to make sure the animal is fine or doesn’t hurt anyone, like with snakes. I’m also obnoxious on a bike and do not hesitate to call out to people or animals when I pass them, so I rarely hit anything. I’m still strong enough to bunny hop on a bike to miss stuff like large snakes on the bike trail, but that risks injury to my neck and back.

I don’t know if I would be offended, but I’d be willing to let more than a few people control my mute button. I’d certainly get over it in like 10 minutes even if it did bug me… So long as they were genuine.

In truth, I don’t really see it as over explaining as much as my need to trace a path of connections through my empirical experiences and heuristics that access that information.

I think most people memorize stuff they do not actually understand. I understand things, but it is more like statistics and heuristics. I want to explain things to ground myself in where I’m at, and because my intent is to collaborate. I want to be wrong and I want you to tell me where exactly I make any wrong turns. I’m fundamentally curious and want to expand upon the subject of interest. I explain because I want to grow, and want to grow with you, collaboratively, and in depth. I’m fishing for someone else like me. I’m embarrassed not because I have over explained, but because I am such a poor judge of the curiosity and motivations of others and I mistook you for someone with infinite capacity for curiosity.

Only the one server connection required for all content. At the very least, only your own servers. I will not whitelist any third party server another website can access. If you load some generic 3rd party script, your stuff does not exist. I don’t want any scripts running at all.