Alas, not on a typewriter… Back to the drawing board!

I’m sure Bob Menendez would do it for a gold bar or a pardon.

He already called Kamala’s DNC speech “weird.” He’s already living in a post bounce-off-me-and-stick-to-you world.

“The spokesperson added that any royalties received as a result of the Trump campaign’s use of the song will be donated to the campaign of Vice President Kamala Harris and Gov. Tim Walz.”

So… they won’t be donating any money to the Harris/Walz campaign?

Right?! You’d think Harris grabbed those women by… Something…

Or having less people at his inauguration than Obama.

“The margin of error for each survey was plus or minus 4.8 percentage points in Michigan, plus or minus 4.3 percentage points in Wisconsin and plus or minus 4.2 percentage points in Pennsylvania.”

So either she’s really up 4 points, up ~8 points, or it’s neck and neck. VOTE!

So obsessed that the RNC being in town shut down Grindr in Milwaukee.

“[Trump]'s the undisputed world champion of [destroying things]” -Tucker Carlson one of many sauces

Many fine people say he fucks couches. Many fine people.

I bet she even asks for DIJON MUSTARD!

Oh Kyle, why did you say that? If you say your birthday wish out loud it won’t come true!

Future civilization will be adding glue to pizza once humanity rebounds

“We’ve seen the success of similar properties, so we have decided to listen to the players and we have given guns to Pokemon! Coming in 2025, Pokemon Rifle and Pokemon Shotgun!” /s

Like even if there were no ads you’d learn how to help in a timely manner.

“What’s up guys! It’s me, your boy, MikeyMedic here with another video of a standard first aid technique, the Abdominal Thrusts!! Now the Abdominal Thrust is a standard first aid trick that is used to help someone when they’re choking 5 minutes on things you can choke on Speaking of food to choke on, our sponsor this week is FoodBox! 3 minutes of FoodBox ad Abdominal Thrusts used to be called the Heimlich Maneuver! Henry Heimlich was… 5 minute history on the Heimlich Maneuver and now I’m going to perform an abdominal thrust on my friend, Someguy420! Check out his videos on another 2 minutes for a partner plug and then 1 minute on how to perform abdominal thrusts And that’s how you perform an abdominal thrust! Be sure to check out my other videos. 3 minutes on other video content, liking and subscribing and hitting that bell.”