In the shire of Middle Earthworld of Watersun, Kevin Costner -I might not be able to carry the ring, Mr. Frodo- and Kevin Costner -but I can carry you!- join Kevin Costner -One does not simple walk into Mordor-, along with the help of Kevin Costner -They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard-, and Kevin Costner -Brego?-, joined by Kevin Costner -And my axe!-, lead by Kevin Costner -Fly, you fools-, against Kevin Costner -Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys-

Watersun Lord of the Ring Planet, Earthworld

I think they missed a word. We have a God-given right to know what’s allowed on our plates here in Texas. They won’t feed us, but they’ll sure as shit knock food out from our hands if it affects their bottom line.

But there are more hydrogen atoms in that star than there are in Earth’s water!

And hydrogen plus oxygen plus energy equals water…

So if we oxygenate the Sun…

SOMEONE GET ME KEVIN COSTNER AND A FUCK-TON OF OXYGEN TANKS! WE’RE MAKING A SEQUEL

Hey! I represent that comment!

I used to run the tech for a middle school and had to cover/sub for a lot of classes one year, which also was the same year we were getting deployed new equipment. Anytime I subbed in one of the computer labs, this is exactly what I’d do. It felt so deliciously naughty.

That’s a nasty question. No one has ever asked me such a nasty question before

Petey seems like quite the cruiser

I have a Mercury. It’s name is Freddy. Freddy the Mercury.

Edit: hey! That’s the wrong “its,” me! Get your shit together!

This next thought’s gonna be the one! It’s gonna be the man who wakes up next to you… Heheheh… AND I WOULD WALK FIVE HUNDRED MILES AND I

Some of my family members survived the Holocaust and concentration camps solely on care from specific guards or captains. My only hope is that a lot of people get $50K to infiltrate and fuck over ICE

I’m sure this was entirely satirical, but just in case: you reap what you sow. As in, “this is what you planted and how you let it grow, now you gotta clean it from your fields.”

Sowing is the act of scattering/planting your seeds in the field. Reaping is where you take your sickle (the gardening tool carried by the grim reaper), and actively cut/clear/harvest your fields. When you go to harvest, you want to harvest a lot, but not so much that you’re wasting food; you want your produce easily accessible, but not too sparse; and you want to be sure that you’re actually going to grow the crops that you want to harvest.

If you’re growing corn, you want to be able to walk through your field and to be able to harvest systematically, so you’ll likely want to plant the corn just densely enough to grow in rows so that you can walk/work your way through them. If you haphazardly plant your corn, you’ll find some stalks didn’t grow properly due to overcrowding, you can get lost in thick forests of corn, and your harvest will be tedious and dangerous as you trip over slashed stalks.

Also, if you’re interested in a bunch of pumpkin soup, so you grab random seeds and throw them around, and then blindly water them, you don’t get to be surprised when you find a bunch of rotting tomatoes that you should have harvested sooner.

Or, if you’re lazy and decide to throw your seed everywhere, you’ll usually find that very little grew, or if you sow a small crop because you got tired, you’re going to reap a small crop.

Finally, if you’re like MTJ and were warned multiple times not to sow your wheat next to the poison ivy, but you decide that poison ivy doesn’t deserve its bad rap; you don’t get to act surprised when your legs itch and lose skin after you’ve reaped your wheat, and you don’t get to act indignant when no one wants to buy grain from the person who grows things among the poison ivy.

As a weird uncle, I have to inform you that most of us don’t want to rule a country. We want to teach the kids to sing the diarrhea song.

“This is a last-minute request I was not aware of until five minutes ago,” Fervier said.

“Life’s full of last-minute things that happen,” Mills responded.

And then they organically broke out into song about how life’s full of last-minute things and that doesn’t mean there’s a conspiracy. Complete with perfect harmonies, all the Jews and Muslims had to excuse themselves on account of all the ham.

I was gonna say that things turned to shit 25 years ago, but that’s a really anglo-centric view. Also, I wasn’t ready to face that more than half my life has been spent watching my country erode itself and the rest of the world. I keep trying to push buttons to see if I can invoke change, but it seems like these controls I was given when I turned 18 might not be connected to anything.

“Please don’t free the person who helped you rape our family member”

Someone needs to fire the writing staff, the latest 10 seasons of Reality: The Show have really sucked.

Oh yes, you’re talking about the media’s constant need to sane-wash America’s first dictator. You’re 100% correct there.

Unfortunately, it is. Gotta find out who Trump is trying to fuck or kill so that we can make big enough of a stink to protect them.

I had to switch back to the laser dog because the machine gun one murdered me too fast.

It’s a great week to start

I imagine they’d start public executions before that