I’m told you were the best

Ok, I guess that makes sense. Bash is a pretty old school language for those raised in the functional programming era

Why?

Yeah, what you describe might indeed fit the criteria for an autism diagnosis though I can’t say for sure. I’m not aware of any pills for the condition, but you’d want to talk to a psychiatrist to know for sure. Mostly, I would send you to a speech and language therapist if one is available and affordable.

You’re describing unpopular obsessions and irritability (which is a form of depression). You’ve been diagnosed with ADHD. ADHD does co-occur with depression and emotional regulation problems and with autism.

Your obsessions could be the ‘special interests’ of autism but that sort of thing can also occur in ADHD which is known for deep dives into narrow hobbies and hyper-focus. I’d say that in ADHD the interests tend to switch off and be replaced with a new one more frequently than in autism.

For autism you need 1) a speech/language problem (which could be very subtle) and 2) restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior or interests (eg the special interests). You maybe have the second part, so the question I’d be asking myself is whether you have the speech language problem part. Look up pragmatic language problems to get an idea. You can use language fluently but miss the subtle parts of it like what facial expressions mean and when that happens you can’t understand sarcasm or other non-literal forms of language where you say one thing but mean the other. “How are you?” “I’m fine” (when the person saying this means they are not fine but don’t want to talk about it)

Hope this helps.

Why? Seems to work well most of the time for me.

From the wiki page

During the late 1930s, Lamarr attended arms deals with her then-husband arms dealer Fritz Mandl, “possibly to improve his chances of making a sale”.[41] From the meetings, she learned that navies needed “a way to guide a torpedo as it raced through the water.” Radio control had been proposed. However, an enemy might be able to jam such a torpedo’s guidance system and set it off course.[42] When later discussing this with a new friend, composer and pianist George Antheil, her idea to prevent jamming by frequency hopping met Antheil’s previous work in music. In that earlier work, Antheil attempted synchronizing note-hopping in the avant-garde piece written as a score for the film Ballet Mechanique that involved multiple synchronized player pianos. Antheil’s idea in the piece was to synchronize the start time of identical player pianos with identical player piano rolls, so the pianos would be playing in time with one another. Together, they realized that radio frequencies could be changed similarly, using the same kind of mechanism, but miniaturized.[4][41]

Store the memory of this wonderful milestone in your life where you can reflect on a life well spent and be embedded in the feeling of belonging to a loving family. That shit is GOLD and will protect your mental health like a Patronus Charm from Harry Potter.

It’s a branch of behaviorism but it is a distinct branch from CBT. CBT involves cognition and behavior analysts don’t work with thoughts, just behaviors. Like any therapy, it can be misused or it can be helpful, depending on your skill and sensitivity as a therapist. Behavior therapies are not about torture. They are therapies and aim to be helpful. Your mileage may vary though depending on what you want from therapy and how skillful your therapist is.

Applied Behavior Analysis

I feel sorry for the guy now. He’s in over his head and trying to defend himself ineffectively. And now a bunch of lemmings are mocking him too, which I get, but it’s still fucked up. Humans suck.

very nicely and concisely explained.

Only 137 light years away. And that’s at the speed of light. It is out of reach to organic life but we might send AI out there

Colder than the ticket-taker’s smile at the Ivar Theater on a Saturday Night … Using parking meters as walking sticks …

The scale seems off. I remember these things being much larger compared to the height of a human.

Maybe the point is to be told you are “so strong” feels invalidating because the lived experience of it doesn’t feel strong. Instead it feels otherwise. I think it does take strength to simply survive adversity, but talking about it needs to acknowledge both that it takes strength to survive adversity and that it doesn’t feel to the person doing the surviving like they are strong.

I dont think you’re an asshole, but what happened does appear to be a privacy violation. She didn’t want you to read that post.

That’s a problem, but probably not the big problem, which is that you appear to want a more committed and exclusive relationship than she wants. In this lop-sided relationship you long for more than you are getting and there is some sort of chronic pain that you’ve hoped would go away over time but it isn’t happening.

If you want more from the relationship you need to make that clear to her. If she doesn’t want what you want, that’s a compatibility problem and you might need to face the possibility that you’d be better off looking elsewhere to get your intimacy needs addressed as she (in that case) would be holding you at a distance, possibly forever. Three years is more than enough time for intimacy to develop if it is going to develop.

The big problem as I see it is that you have accepted less than you need for some reason that isn’t clear from your post. Your need isn’t weird; its an entirely natural within normal limits sort of need so you’re not asking for too much. She just appears to not have the same need for exclusivity and intimacy, or is getting her needs met from the other relationship which clearly never stopped happening.

Why are you putting up with less than you want and need is the big question? Are you worried that you could not do better?

Cue Theramin

“Enshitification”

Check out secure scuttlebutt. I think there is even a phone app for it now. It was designed by a guy living on a boat with intermittent network access which is similar to the use case you describe.