Or he just wants it to make the news so his co-conspirators can buy low after which point he can reverse course in (rolls die) 3 days and they can sell high.

We should let him know he’s not allergic. He might be going out of his way to avoid moon dust for no reason.

And why do these “hurricanes” always avoid crossing the equater, as if they’re somehow innately aware of the one word I can’t spell?

“Too bad there’s not enough left over to pay for my arthritis meds so I can drive. Hey, whatever happened to that medical aid program that used to pay for them?”

Nobody threatens our Earth and gets away with it. And now we find out Venus was harboring these asteroids all along? Too far. My kids live here. I know this is drastic, and hear me out, it’s not often our whole planet gets threatened. If there was ever a time, this is the time to be drastic.

We need to get rid of Venus.

Okay this metaphor is getting kind of weird.

In the same way that the murderer is often first to the crime scene

Might also try Zero 7. Their earlier albums feature vocals from Sia and Sophie Barker, as well as José González. All three have smooth evocative voices.

Sia: Destiny, This Fine Social Scene, The Pageant of the Bizarre, Speed Dial No. 2

Sophie Barker: Spinning, Passing By, In the Waiting Line, In Time

José González: Futures, Left Behind, Today, Crosses

These were all among my favorite songs almost two decades ago, when Trip Hop was at its height. Some I would still consider to be pinnacles of music.

The orchestra hit when you jump off, the BOW when spitting things out, and when he uses tongue, you gotta have the MLEM.

Use a script on another device to constantly type a space and then a backspace into the text input box at every moment of every day except for when you are actually composing a message.

Yeah, I wasn’t able to find any waste, fraud, or abuse, and rather than saving money like we promised, it turns out we’re spending more money. Like a lot more. Like instead of saving a trillion dollars how I said we would, we’ve spent over two hundred billion more than last year in just a few months. Oh, and you know how we said your taxes would go down? Funny thing, they’re actually going to go up - for you I mean, mine will weirdly go down still. And my companies will also do pretty well because of the government subsidies and all that. Oh, and it’s pretty convenient that all of those investigations into my businesses randomly got dropped. Coincidental those investigations were under the same agencies where we imagined we’d find the most waste, fraud, and abuse. Good thing shutting them down without the authority to do so was much easier than actually proving any wrongdoing took place. Anyway, good luck getting a job if you’re one of the many experienced government employees I fired. I know things are unusually rough right now, for some reason. Lots of people attacking the United States with bad trade deals out of nowhere, like how Ukraine attacked Russia so randomly. Good thing we’re diverting so much money from those pointless social safety nets (I mean, they’ve never helped me) to put it toward additional warfare. That’ll show all those countries who refuse to bend the knee. Oh, are you still here? Shouldn’t you be working long hours for a slave wage somewhere?

Yes, this level of control over how the populace thinks is a step along the path toward turning human beings into livestock. I’m not fond of it.

We’re gonna need a cuter boat.

Sorry, I know we were meant to deport a bunch of immigrants to a concentration camp for the crime of having brown skin today, but it turns out I’ve been ripped by the news media. Yeah, unfortunately, I won’t be able to commit hate crimes with you anymore.

I only know of one Weird Al, but in my mind, this is a job creation opportunity. There could be a whole new industry built around taking regular Als and turning them weird.

Well, now that we know what’s out there, I think we should focus our efforts on putting a big sea monster into the ocean.

Yeah, that’s what they do in Hawaii currently, with amber LEDs that mimic the tone of the old sodium-vapor lamps.

It’s definitely an improvement. I would love to see both the matrix and the amber spectrum applied at the same time, that’s like peak utopia for me right there.

Or maybe areas like Hawaii where preventing light pollution is of critical importance? I feel like a lot of mass-produced technologies face their main hurdle at manufacturing and if early adopters fund those initial manufacturing costs, the price can then come down quite a lot. But ultimately, it’s mostly wishful thinking, how I would want the world to be, seeing the issues all around us now.

I had a thought last night. Some new cars have “matrix” headlights, which will detect oncoming drivers and use an LCD matrix to block out areas that would blind the oncoming driver.

I was looking at the shadow cast on my back door from a streetlight a couple blocks away and thinking it’s a very useful light for people walking on the street. Just not for me standing in my backyard or the birds sleeping in my trees.

I wonder if we could start applying this active matrix technology to streetlights. Each time one is set up, we could program it to illuminate all the walkways but not much else. Just an idea.

That’s the same way they did it on Mythbusters.