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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I know I said “unionize” in another comment, but I’ve realized that might not be immediately helpful, so some other advice: if you’re in a place where it’s legal to record with one party’s consent, secretly record the whole thing. If not, I still advise recording, but you’ll have to say you’re recording and get everyone’s consent. Ask for everything in writing whether or not they allow that. Expect to be fired. Expect to need a lawyer. Get a lawyer. Expect that the lawsuit will take time and you won’t get much of anything but you might be lucky enough to hurt them in the process. Resign yourself to the fact that without unionization or governmental change, we’re absolutely and totally fucked if we’re disabled, neurodivergent, or even just different. Then do whatever you have to in order to survive knowing that.



  • I mean, be conscious of your needs, but anyone saying “you’re too sensitive” is pretty much universally an unhealthy person to be around unless there’s some real nuance to the situation. It means they’re dismissing your emotional reactions as unreasonable or otherwise not worth respecting and that’s basically abuse 101.

    Find people who get you and accept you as you are. If there’s something about yourself that you struggle with, work on coping techniques and the like, but ultimately anyone who doesn’t respect you is going to abuse or hurt you even if it’s unintentional on their part. It’s why we’re several times more likely to be abused than neurotypical people: we’re constantly told that we’re being unreasonable and we tend to be far more accepting of others than they are of us, often ignoring abuse because we’re taught to internalize self-hatred from a young age. At least that’s my perspective as an autistic person with C-PTSD and a heck of a lot of trauma related to this sort of thing exactly.

    The correct response to someone seeming sensitive or expressing a boundary is acceptance and respect, possibly followed by discussion on those terms when it’s not urgently in need of addressing. Ignoring boundaries is almost always either abusive or neglectful. Slips are going to happen, of course, but “you’re too sensitive” is an intentional attempt to dismiss your boundaries, not a slip barring exceptional circumstance.





  • PleasantAura@lemmy.onetoSelfhosted@lemmy.worldTrillium Notes
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    8 months ago

    Trillium is my personal choice for self-hosted notes. I haven’t really had issues with using it on mobile, but I also just tend to put the stuff I think of when I’m out and about into a single note that I periodically go through and reorganize. It’s been good to me so far, and it has all of the features I really need. If I need something fancier (or public-facing), I toss it in BookStack instead. Then again, I don’t use either of them for business (mostly for tabletop RPG stuff and instructions to friends/family about using the other stuff I self-host), so if that’s your application, I have no clue how it holds up.


  • The Vulkan vs DirectX thing isn’t an absolute in terms of performance. In addition, it’s worth keeping in mind that Windows is horrifically bloated with unoptimized “features” and can use up to 8GB of RAM at idle plus 10-50% of your CPU at idle depending on your configuration as well as which unnecessary services are bugged in that update. That in and of itself makes a huge difference; my W10 install was using 8GB of RAM and nearly 80% of my CPU on system services for almost a month straight before they finally fixed the bug and reduced it to 2-4 GB + maybe 15-25% depending on the day, meaning I was getting huge stutter playing games as simple as Old School RuneScape. My Tumbleweed install on my much worse specs-wise laptop, on the other hand, used effectively zero CPU and less than 1GB of RAM at idle (fairly confident on the RAM thing but I’d have to check for exact numbers).



  • It’s the cost of federation with instances that try to be giant general-purpose instances (.world and .ee, mostly): just constant shitty takes that overwhelm participants in the conversation. Federation works far better with lots of small purpose-driven instances instead of gigantic ones; my small (<1000 users) specific community-focused Mastodon instance sees absolutely nothing like this and is full of people who intentionally engage in good-faith conversation with the rest of the community while every large instance I’ve seen has the same issues as centralized social media in that regard.



  • I just wanted to say thanks for putting this into words better than I could. I’d been thinking about this recently and this really helped make a few things click. I’ve been pretty frustrated with the idea of strict canon especially in anime communities, as well as what a bunch of different copyright holders of stuff like Star Wars have done to their media lately in the pursuit of profit. I’m pretty anti-copyright in general and I think this is a good way of explaining part of why I have that stance.