Well, that doesn’t mean it’s not done.

My sister had a few (more than 20 simultaneously) rats.

One rat got stuck with her tail in the cage, and the tail had to be amputated, or the rat would’ve died. There were a few complications during the operation, and the bill would have skyrocketed to more than 2k€. For a tiny rat.

Needless to say, my sister insisted the operation continue. Rat lived happily for another 18 months

I’d probably take a bite a day after they took a bite

Probably AuDHD (both)

It’s a somewhat-common term (at least in my sub-bubble) for individuals with PDA traits.

I got the term from the PDA societies flyer (here in germany PDA is quite unknown and one of the best ressources in german is the german translation of that flyer. sad…): https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/What-is-PDA-booklet-website-v2.1.pdf

I cite:

The giant panda is our ambassador, since they also need a tailored approach in order to thrive, and the letters P A N D A also provide a useful summary of helpful approaches …

PICK BATTLES

• minimise rules
• enable some choice and control
• explain reasons
• accept that some things can’t be done

ANXIETY MANAGEMENT

• use low arousal approach
• reduce uncertainty
• recognise underlying anxiety and social/sensory challenges
• think and plan ahead
• treat meltdowns as panic attacks: support throughout and move on

NEGOTIATION & COLLABORATION

• keep calm
• proactively collaborate and negotiate to solve challenges
• fairness and trust are central

DISGUISE & MANAGE DEMANDS

• word requests indirectly
• constantly monitor tolerance for demands and match demands accordingly
• doing things together helps

ADAPTATION

• try humour, distraction, novelty and role play
• be flexible
• have a Plan B
• allow plenty of time
• try to balance the amount of “give and take”

Demands for a panda can be everything, way more than what a neurotypical or even non-PDA autistic would intuitively assume.

The name PDA in itself is misleading, a bit. Yes, it’s the most visible symptom, but not the cause.

It’s- at least in my own personal experience and some other pandas - more about the expectations of people around us and our autonomy.

(that’s why it’s Also sometimes called “Pervasive Drive for Autonomy”)

We kinda need to be in control of ourselves at all time. We don’t want people to decide who we are and what we do. Up to a paradoxical level where doing what people want can cause us stress and these people don’t even have to be anyone else than ourself.

That’a why I dont like gifts. People expect me to be happy. And even if it’s a good gift… I just don’t like it how everybody around me expect me to be happy.

Understanding what each panda sees as something to avoid is a tough task, as my girlfriend could tell you. But if one is accepted for differences and compromises are seen as good enough, then everybody can be a bit happier.

Example: I cannot (unless I really force myself) put the garbage in the garbage bin. I always make a few piles sorted by material on the table next to the bin. My gf does not think “This stupid person, never putting the garbage where it belongs”, but “Nice, Person has cleaned up the room and put the garbage here for me to throw away”. Something that is called a “demand compromise” in literature.

I recommend to watch the following video: https://youtu.be/_abB44rPqEM

(keep in mind that he is one single autistic individual and PDA is a spectrum in a spectrum.)

I can also recommend some videos of “I’m Autist, now what?”

In general I may suggest to seek resources of adult pandas. Medical literature, especially on PDA, is mostly from the outside with nobody ever listening to the actual autistic individuals. And surely much of what they tell from their live is also applicable to children.

Regarding the meds, yeah, I thought something along the lines could be the case; that’s why I initially didn’t want to recommend too much from my side: I simply don’t know all the chemicals and therapies etc; all my knowledge comes from adults.

All my meds were just the “usual” stuff (cough, fever, pain)

Therefore: I guess I cannot help you on your initial question at all, but may this text and these videos will give you a better understanding on what different pandas might see as demands.

To add to this aspect:

Pandas are especially prone to reject conventional therapy, because therapy is a demand: “Healing begins now”.

Same thing goes with medication: “We expect you to get better after taking this”

For myself, the best thing is to just let me do my thing. Put the meds somewhere where I can see them. But don’t expect me to take them. If they’ll help and you’re away, I may decide I take them, but because I want to, not because it’s expected from me.

But that also means: If I myself feel better without the meds, I won’t take them.

(but I’m a high masking late diagnosed panda and in regards to PDA/ADHD unmedicated, therefore I have no expertise with medications of panda-children or how parents would handle that.)

Did you already check out the facebook PDA groups? They’re filled with parents with similar problems, and I assume there you might get faster help as it’s not only PDA/Parent specific but more active.

(And I really don’t like to recommend facebook ever… or any meta-product… but well, it somehow is where many of these groups exist, and I know nowhere else that is not targeted at (adult) Pandas themself.

How you could somewhat rebase manually (to understand the effect; or because you like to handle the merge conflicts more granular or be more selective):

We assume we have the branch “Feat” which was started on an old version of “Main”, and now want to rebase it:

• Rename “Feat” to “Old” (does not happen during rebase, but we kinda need it for this demonstration)
• Create “Feat” at the newest (or wherever you want) commit of “Main”
• Cherrypick all commits from “Old” into “Feat”

Et viola - you kinda manually rebased “Feat” on “Main”

There are four types of people:

• “S.Q.L.”
• Sequel
• Squirrel (seriously, I met 3 unrelated people saying squirrel. Why?!)
• Who cares? You should use [another tool] anyway

I think I figured it out:

The left number is always going one up, while rights number decrease - starting at two - always halves itself.

Therefore 5 should be 42.5

Sometimes, it helps to say:

“Thanks for trying to help, but the same inputs lead to different areas to light up in our brains. It’s not an issue with missing empathy. You just work on a different operating system than me, and telling me how I shall execute that “.exe” properly while all my brain-programms work with “.asd” just isn’t helping.”

(and yes, that is in some details not correct, but never did an ND nitpick about that. I say it in another language, tho xD)

Defnitely at least half a wheel

FTFY

What’s the political motivation?

Not with that attitude

• pulls out mobile X-Ray *

A complaint is a statement with an included accusation/blame.

In your example the difference would be in the reason you’re tired. If you’re tired because you did something for them (even if not obvious; e.g. beeing “forced” into social interaction etc. does count) and you therefore see the reason for your tiredness related to your friend: yep, that’s a complaint

“Nah, you already forced me i to beeing tired. I don’t want to be more tired”

If you are just tired because you had a rough day, then it’s just a statement

Luckily the Nora-App is in progress. It lets you send an emergency request (in germany) directly from the app.

Unfortunately it was temporarily taken out of the App Stores. But I have a (seemingly) working version on my phone and it seems to have everything you would need. (Only used it once in test-mode, tho. Luckily I never actually had to send an emergency request)

I suggest to all my fellow german lemmings to keep an eye out on https://www.nora-notruf.de/ and check it once in while.

Better to have the app (when registrations are open again) and never need it than vice versa.

For deaf people (in germany) there is also https://www.tess-relay-dienste.de/

Deaf and mute people

And whoever implemented our garbage collector must have taken it quite literal, without looking up what it means

Guess the difference is what you grew up with and therefore intuitively prefer:

• allegedly american thinking: This baby sucks X gallons. Let’s see how far I can get with it

• allegedly non-american thanking: I need to drive roughly X 1/2 hundred kilometers, and that will burn that much fuel.

Honestly I remebered it as “git out” as well, but that would be semantically incorrect and “get out” seems close enough.