I think there’s a point where over researching overtakes usefulness and just feeds anxiety because it leans into social hyper awareness and every autistic cell screaming at you to Perform Friendliness.
A total life changer for me was focusing more on how I feel in every moment and then deploying meaningless small talk at 100% masked friendliness (this is at a 1 sentence fragment per 10-30min interval) if I feel like I have the energy to perform. Strategically, I make sure to be extra bubbly and say things like, “Everyone here is so brilliant! Do you all have a group chat to share things outside of the conference every year? How does everyone stay in touch?” Anything aimed at gaining points of contact without spending more immediate social energy.
The crucial part is — when I no longer feel ok, be it energy, anxiety, self doubt, etc — I make a friendly exit. Just a, “Great meeting you all!” And commit to the exit. A goodbye is weirdly a big deal for the best groundwork for future encounters. And, I can go home mostly ok and can more likely shake off any anxiety or latent disappointment without an extended recovery period.
Hard to teach humility to a dude who is surrounded by institutional investors funneling millions into his pockets.
But yeah I hope this is ruining his sleep