I might not be happy or successful, but at least I saw a funny picture on the internet today

Counterpoint:

I can derive/make fries from potatoes and pringles from fries

Heart diseases are the major cause of death in the US. Our research aims to reduce mortality and negative life impacts of cardiovascular diseases.

This will lead to further overaging the population, higher age in congress, and in the long run to the collapse of society

Hardest exoskeleton of any known insect (researchers drove their Toyota over one of them, and it survived)

And an abnormal long lifespan for a beetle.

Intresting little critters

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/scientists-unravel-secrets-diabolical-ironclad-beetles-near-unsquishable-strength-180976113/

Figure one seems to only convey two messages:

Get me off

&

Get me your fucking mailing list

One cell contains 2 meters of follded dna 1

A human has 36 trillion cells 2

The distance between Earth and Jupiter varies from 588 million km to 999 million km and averages at 601 million kilometers 3

36 trillion * 2 meters / 0,6 trillion meters

120 times to Jupiter (or 60 times back an forth) on average

Or 72 times to Jupiter (36 times back and forth) at the highest distance

1 Alberts B, Johnson A, Lewis J, et al. Molecular Biology of the Cell. 4th edition. New York: Garland Science; 2002. Chromosomal DNA and Its Packaging in the Chromatin Fiber. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK26834/

2 https://www.livescience.com/health/anatomy/how-many-cells-are-in-the-human-body-new-study-provides-an-answer

3 https://www.space.com/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-to-jupiter#section-how-far-away-is-jupiter

I mean a paper is renowned if many people cute from it

We could just try citing more free papers, whenever possible (as long as they still have peer review)

Very suspect about the qr code in the last panel

Your point is valid, but less funny and will therefore be ignored

(Thank you for fact checking)

Same, I actually think for new players, it is best to limit the race options to not overwhelm them with joice

*shows toungue and puts it back in

As said by others, rather reskin existing mechanics, than use homebrew

The most suited for something akin to coocking in combat would probably be a cleric where you can use existing buff spells or effects and just change how they do it rather than what they do

Cure wounds is just an “emergency sandwich”

Bane is making “thousand year egg” so very smelly, that it distracts the enemy

I would recommend also to use new names for these abilities so that they have it easier to stay in character and ask them how they think a specific effect that their class has can be produced with food

I would also say for the purpose of a fight that most dishes are pre prepared (I.e. representing the spell slots they have) and are than just used in combat

So it was colorized in 57, but when was the test?

Na bro, you are just influenced by the Narativum in the atmosphere, which has nothing to do with your brain

“The youth of our nation is too easily persuaded by unchecked claims on the internet”

Abraham Lincoln - Vampire hunter

Best case scenario, they rip the piece out of a students textbook, which probably cost 200 $, without asking them first (thor love and thunder)

“Me and my sibling”

They will receive the sea slug pictures and they will like them! Do we understand us?

As stated by cracked after hours

Math is the power to destroy nice things with logic

I think they actually do know what they are doing, and therefore, their hypothesis is incorrect

They are perfectly following the scientific method:

Set up a hypothesis (I don’t know what I am doing)

Formulate a contrary null hypothesis (I know what I am doing) and try to prove it (if I know what I am doing, I will be able to do science stuff)

Notice that your experiment actually proves your null hypothesis, thereby rejecting your original claim

Panic, as negative results can not be published, and a lack of publications threatens both the funding for your scientific career as well as your livelihood

Bend the data a little bit and throw any negative data because everybody is probably doing this

Proclaim you have proven your hypothesis