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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • I take the opposite approach. If I notice someone is more chatty than I am, I make a point to tell them upfront “hey, I’m usually pretty quiet, but I still enjoy conversations even if they’re a little one-sided”. It’s a good test of character - if they still have a problem with me after I communicated clearly, then we’re not compatible, and I don’t need to worry about them. But I have certainly had friends that would talk my ear off and I’d happily nod and offer small insights or facts, and it worked out. It’s more about finding the right people - instead of trying to become the right person.


  • MantidSys@kbin.socialtoAutism@lemmy.worldWrong personality
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    8 months ago

    Because, for some reason, people think it’s better to smooth over social situations by acting inauthentically than handle any amount of friction or disagreement. But that’s how people end up with entire friend groups they don’t relate to, and feel unhappy.

    Personally, I think most people lack the emotional maturity to act authentic to themselves and say ‘fuck the haters’. People who do that tend to end up a lot more satisfied with life than chronic people-pleasers. I would know - I’ve tried both ways, and the people-pleasing only leads to anxiety and shame, like the OP’s meme describes.


  • Maybe. But multiplayer games exist. And people have a very high standard for what population a game must have for it to be worth playing. People will consolidate into singular pre-made titles, compromising on their desires like they do now, in order to have many other humans to play with.

    Maybe AI can be convincing NPCs eventually, but people will want to play games with their friends. They’ll find out eventually if another character is an NPC or human, and they will care.

    Even singleplayer games will be subject to this, to a degree. People enjoy playing what their friends play - they like having the same experiences, they like having something in common to discuss, they like the shared experience that brings a sense of community to the fans of a single title or series.

    Sure, people could make any game they desire, but it will be isolating. You’re underselling the social desires and needs we all have. Maybe we’ll end up with something similar to Garry’s Mod and Roblox: connected gaming hubs where people can load up any number of experiences - but still being able to include their friends somehow. I think that is much more likely than the concept of a person sitting in the corner of a room with their VR headset, wilting away in a world of their own creation, having lost all connections that would otherwise surround them. Humans naturally fight against that. We’ll experience things we’re not familiar with, as long as we’re experiencing them with other people.



  • Do you think a “soulslike” is defined by being dark and gritty? I find it odd that you think the inclusion of anything cute or hopeful/friendly would be only a negative. Maybe your preferences are for dark and gritty only, but I assure you that many people enjoy other styles. There’s a charm to there being hope in a dying world, isn’t there?

    Besides, I’d say most people define “soulslike” by their gameplay, not aesthetics. Maybe the “git gud” fragile-masculinity crowd needs their unforgiving combat system paired with a dark, ‘masculine’ atmosphere to fulfill their power fantasy, but again, I assure you that many other types of people enjoy those games - especially Elden Ring, which has much broader appeal than the previous souls games.

    I’ll wager you’re a toxic “git gud” type that hinges their identity on these types of games, and that’s why the idea of your sacred icon being blemished by comparison to Soulframe upsets you so much. I really can’t see why else anyone would be this angry over a game not being to their preferences. If people enjoy something different than you, let them. :)


  • As someone who highly values spending time just thinking, it does take a level of privilege to do so. If your needs aren’t met, or your life isn’t safe/secure, letting the mind wander is giving it the ability to latch onto these distressing topics and create loops of anxiety and stress.

    As much as I value spending my time thinking, I also value ways of shutting my brain off so that I don’t have another panic attack about how I can’t afford groceries yet or not knowing if my housing situation is secure. I can’t feel like my life is collapsing if I distract myself.

    And more people than not are struggling to make ends meet, so I imagine more people than not have stresses they need to put out of mind, just to retain their sanity.