KarthNemesis

I uh. Have no idea if this fulfills what you need, exactly, it’s about a very specific facet of autism, but I’ve read this book and found it helpful for grounding how to navigate, self-care especially:
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price

I knew a lot of the information already, having built a lot of similar systems myself, but I feel it helped me feel less completely free-floating, based entirely in my own life theory with no contemporaries. I did learn some new things, as well, especially about wider context, safety, and how the stereotypes don’t serve any of us all that well.

It is… a bit of a narrow focus, I don’t know that it would give much information to those who aren’t high-masking, I don’t know that it would do much for someone who absolutely has to mask for safety. But if you struggle with high-masking and think there are probably at least some areas one could learn to let go, it is a decent reference. (Such as the case of me, who struggles with masking even in spaces I am completely alone, and suffering greatly because I have a lot of trouble letting go of what I “should be doing,” and ending up perpetuating unwitting and unwilling violence against myself. Still working on that.)

I hope this might be helpful information, even if it was not precisely what you were looking for.

To add to your statement, irritability is also a very common expression of bipolar.

I have autism and bipolar 1.

Autism does not have pills.
Circumstances of your birth have no causation to autism. Neither to circumstances of your life. All sorts of people have autism from all walks of life.

A reason to research and understand one’s own autism is to recognize what in your life overwhelms you, and how to structure your life in a way that is comfortable and functional to you, without a judgemental neurotypical lens. To embrace who you are, rather than try to force yourself to be something you are not.

You can seek a diagnosis if you wish, but I can’t tell you if it’d give you what you’re looking for.

I learned about my conditions through following various mental health communities for years and seeing what had commonalities with me through the fun lens of dank memes. I also learned a lot about medications, warning signs in therapists, and I learned what mental health conditions I don’t have. Can’t say if that’d work for everyone, either, but I did learn a lot more from the communities directly rather than reading the clinical book definitions.

Cork and fungus leather sounds absolutely sick. I hope fully plant-based leather catches on, because I haven’t seen any anywhere.

From looking around, it looks like a lot of current plant stuff still tends to be mixed with polyurethane or coated with plastic 8i
(Polyurethane is, …I don’t think plastic. It’s dense reading trying to figure out what exactly it is! But it seems to be mixed with plastic undisclosed sometimes? Regardless it doesn’t seem great for me either…)

I’m glad that “the market” is moving further and further away from plastic as a whole in the past few years.
It sounds like there are some promising, but slow, developments in trying to make more pure plant leather.

(Would plant-leather be “planter?” “Planther?” /thonk.)

I’m allergic to polyester and most anything made of plastic. I get painful open sores, and hideously itchy. It is difficult to find clothes at best.
Plastic is snuck in more shit than you’d think. Often unlabelled. More than one pair of pants/shorts I’ve had to ditch/edit because the pockets were polyester or nylon in a “100% cotton” garment. Drawstrings are bad for this, too. And waistbands.

Seems to be weirdly common to be adverse to plastic-based fabrics in autistic communities.

I most often wear:

cotton/linen/canvas/denim
rayon/bamboo (plant based, do need to be a bit careful because people fake it, very loose “swishy” fabric)
hemp
real leather (“vegan leather” is literally plastic and i will fight people greenwashing calling it “vegan” and not the awful pleather it is.) (very difficult to find coats without nylon linings though.)

I do commiserate with the feeling that communicating anything takes a lot of energy and deliberateness to get across what one would actually like to, without compromising values. It’s part of why I wouldn’t mind finding some autistic friends, it’s been exhausting to have had this expected of me by default for so long.

I think surety in ones’ own sense of self takes time and introspection like you are doing now. I used to struggle more with being afraid of not “really” being autistic, bipolar etc, but time has showed me that I was right and trusting myself when it comes to myself is the smart thing to do. It’s possible you could get a sense of closure in that regard, in time, as well.

But even if you don’t, taking it tongue-in-cheek and keeping introspective means you’re growing, and that’s always a good thing ^^

I heard some advice a while back that was along the lines of, “stop apologizing and start thanking,” and I feel like it’s positively impacted how I phrase things.

Instead of asking forgiveness and moving the conversation into them feeling they have to defend their values on the spot, showing gratitude for their understanding actually makes people feel more valued. “Thank you for your patience” is an entirely different vibe than “sorry I didn’t get back to you” and puts much less burden on them. It shows you care about their time without making the focus about your failings and whether or not they agree they are failings.

It’s subtle, but I find it’s made a huge difference for me.

I also agree with others, in my experience apologies should be reserved for regret and actual feelings of penitence. It’s actually a very strong value of mine nowadays, and it certainly makes me much healthier.

Just some thoughts about what I’ve learned about this particular situation, it’s up to you how valid you think they are.

keep on truckin’ yourself. ^^

It’s not a verbatim quote. It’s sardonic, derived from the introduction.

I do not like being called “particularly vulnerable to the impact of traumatic events,” ha. Even if they are utilizing that phrasing primarily for kids and young adults, and hedge it in tentativeness, it genuinely is not a dissimilar wordage to people who had been abusive to me during those periods of my life.

I wasn’t particularly vulnerable to the impact, I was in a crap situation trapped with people who deeply did not understand me, that had complete power over me. That would be bad for anyone.

It’s not a critique of the article as a whole. More of a pet peeve on how many people frame approaching autism, even without any malignant intention. I don’t hold any ill will against the researchers, I’m just tired.

==

I agree with the conclusion of your shared article that people have a tendency to frame perceptiveness as “too sensitive,” twisting a genuine strength into a bad thing to undermine your own critical thinking.

I also want to state somehow that I appreciate the pure good faith way you approached my original comment ha, keep doing what you’re doing.

And I said “probably.” I didn’t misrepresent them.

If it is the first go-to speculation, it is fairly representative of the default of what they assume could be valid, and it’s annoying. That the automatic primary speculation is that minorities are “just sensitive” should be challenged. Tentative couching of that prognosis does not excuse them from review.

I realize you did not state this as your position, and I do not expect you to defend it as your own, but I’d very much prefer to stave off any implication.

“People who are discriminated against have more stress and PTSD. This probably is because they are more sensitive.”

Sigh.

for someone totally new?
i guess it depends on what you mean by “addicting,” so i’ll try to put in “potential hours” as a reference. regardless i think all of these are quite fun and consuming for me for a while.

The Binding of Isaac Rebirth.
its difficulty sort of “scales” with how well you do in your runs: if you never beat mom, the next boss, the next boss etc, it’ll stay “easier” for as long as that takes. (and if it gets too hard when you start beating stuff, you can always wipe your save and start over, or start a new save, hah!)
the control scheme is extremely simple and it’s fine to not be completely perfect at it if you’re just going for basic runs and okay with relying more on “lucking” into victory. you really don’t have to take on mega-satan or whatever.
up to you if the horror-to-horror-adjacent visuals appeal or not. you do also have to be okay with the idea of dying, it’s a roguelike.
you can play this for literally thousands of hours.

Slime Rancher 1.
just a fun time shlorping up slimes. very low stakes and silly and cute. meant to be pretty accessible. if you’re brand new i could see it taking up some time, and it’s a good way to learn “video game logic.” i’ve spent 80 hours in SR1, playtimes can be a bit varied.

Plants vs Zombies (the original GOTY edition, and definitely not the ad-ridden mobile port)
old 2000’s popcap games in general were onboarding for many a gamer back in the day. i’ve spent 60 hours of it on steam, no idea how much back in the 2000’s. playtimes overall can be a bit all over the map on this one.

Garden Paws,
if you like cutesy and the idea of gathering stuff for villagers, with farming / animal raising mechanics. it’s slightly jank but it’s very endearing. no fail condition. (it’s somewhat similar to stardew valley with some differences!) this can be played almost infinitely, if you really like the loop, decorating, or have a few people to play with. playtimes tend to be 40-200 hours roughly.

Wobbledogs,
if you like the idea of raising cute pets with a genome and don’t mind the very subtle horror/bizarre aspects (they can die, eat each other’s bodies, and they pupate like caterpillars lol.) pretty sandbox game, and you can turn death off if you want. (or “clone” dogs you want to keep with the export/import tool in the menu.) this is a newer one for me so i’ve only put in 35 hours, but i fully intend to go back and try for some Huge Dogs TM. average seems about 20 hours but you can spend a lot if you like raising weirdo pets.

look up number. type out entire script for the conversation. make the script encompass absolutely anything that can happen in the call. come back to it in a few days. high energy day, find the place i typed my script and the number. triple check the number. call the number, follow the script. make sure to put off any immediate plan demands during the call to minimum two weeks out.

that’s my process. i only run into problems if i have to rush things. but planning my life around avoiding other peoples’ rushes and emergencies works for the most part. it does require me to know extensively more about the systems i am calling than the people operating the systems to make a proper script, but the research is not typically a problem for me… it just takes time.

usually if i follow this process and cover about 90% of topics in my script i can handle one or two issues.

I had far more issues on windows than I ever have on mint.

When I had issues on windows, which i would run into multiple times a week, the “fixes” would be hacky, slapped-together nonsense that don’t even make sense on paper. I had to change almost every program manually to run as administrator. Installing old games was a nightmare and didn’t always work properly, even with compatibility modes. New drivers would break stuff. Trying to learn anything new was a rabbit hole that took countless hours and then I only learned the fix for that one specific use-case, and not anything… overarching. System updates were so intrusive, installing crap I didn’t want or removed manually, I disabled them completely. It was slow and boot took forever. Ending system processes via task manager didn’t always work and the system would freeze often when something went wrong. Often uninstalling programs was messy and left shit all over in the system registry and files and you would have to defrag and system clean once it started getting bloated.

When my windows install finally broke completely just trying to get shit to work the way I wanted, I bailed.

Transitioning to mint was certainly a learning experience.

Reorganizing your workflow will always be more upfront work, but I found I took to the changes fairly quickly. I found the file structure the most odd, but I became very used to it and very much prefer it over how hard it is to find stuff spread scattershot in windows files. It had a lot of little quality of life things that I really appreciate, mounting and unmounting external drives felt better, way more stuff worked out of the box, old games were not a nightmare to get working because they’re had longstanding fixes for years that actually make sense. Solutions, in general, make way more sense to me, and I actually get a sense that I understand why they function. My boot time is very fast and I’ve never broken my system (I came close once doing something incredibly stupid and very niche, but I just timeshifted back and voila, fixed.)

Fixes or changes for preference tend to “stick” for me, like when I swapped to pipewire myself it’s been very smooth sailing. I can pick and choose updates or ignore packages that don’t work. There was an issue with kernels for a while that significantly increased my boot times; I just postponed that update for a few versions until one of the newer ones worked. I find I can get down similar rabbit holes to learn some stuff, but it both feels more like “lasting” solutions (and I learn more about how to do other stuff) as well as just more fun. Documentation is a lot better with users who know what they’re doing instead of the guesswork “well I dunno but this might have worked for me, I tried 20 fixes so it’s probably one of these!” I would run into on windows troubleshooting…

I think my favourite part of linux is a lot of things I wanted solutions to, for years, usually have at least one person out there with a similar issue that wrote a small program that just does it. Does it well. For free. I spent so much time digging for really basic stuff like a sound equalizer that wasn’t garbage, bloatware, full of trackers, or ransomware! I don’t have to spend hours trying to find a stinkin’ RGB controller that isn’t awful because the choices available are just better! I don’t have to spend weeks comparing and contrasting antivirus-es and hate all of them in the end!

I find mint extremely stable and have no urge to swap nor return to windows. I find it much more stable for my use-case. I really like it, actually, and I appreciate how a lot of it is set up. Been using it daily for 4 years.

I loathed windows the entire time I used it, and had been side-eyeing linux for quite a while before committing. I don’t know if I’m a “normal” use-case, probably not. Possibly it is best to take my experience as, “if you keep hitting walls often in windows that frustrate the hell out of you, linux might be a decent choice for you, and might “feel easier.”” Both have their own quirks and own troubleshooting, I just prefer the ones on mint and they make more sense to me. (And take me far less time.)

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Beef maruchan ramen. Basically almost entirely what I survived on until I was 25.
I used to do chicken + mushroom flavour when I was very small but they discontinued it.