If going with lemmy.zip I recommend staying out of most of their local communities, a mod there who runs a good amount of the local communities on lemmy.zip is a transphobia apologist, maybe it won’t bother some people or won’t be an issue to them but generally I find that hanging out in communities run by people like that doesn’t end well when they eventually use their mod powers to push an agenda.
They may be aggressive in their methods but they are one of if not the most trans friendly servers in the fediverse. Mostly because they ban people for bigotry and apologists of transphobes. I mean you are a cis person, saying that a space is unfriendly to transphobes because they are a bit on the aggressive side and ban people for bigotry that is real but you don’t see or understand why it is bigotry. It really isn’t your place to tell us trans people that a space meant for trans people is unfriendly to trans people.