My theory is that they are living in a world of hierarchies and apologizing is admitting a mistake, which takes them down a few levels on the hierarchy of power/popularity.
My theory is that they are living in a world of hierarchies and apologizing is admitting a mistake, which takes them down a few levels on the hierarchy of power/popularity.
I agree. People don’t have to apologize, but the recipients don’t have to disregard the behaviors. I think the problem comes from when you are upset over their actions despite their intent, and they insist that you don’t feel the way you are feeling. It’s not that I’m requesting an apology, and they don’t want to give one. It’s that I feel a certain way, and they want me to feel differently without apologizing for it. That’s not how I function, and we don’t have to insist on a relationship in which our different functioning styles don’t interact well.
yesssssssss!!! This is the most important part of any apology. Even if they give the most wonderful speech of an apology that acknowledges their behaviors and impact, it means nothing if they do not take active effective steps to avoid doing it again. If doing something hurtful, apologizing for it, and then doing it again is a pattern, that’s getting into the realm of abuse.
undefined> and they insist that you don’t feel the way you are feeling.