I genuinely hate the dishonesty. Why is it drilled in people to fake being nice? Why does one have to be so polite? There are ways to say no and still be polite. Or just simply say, hey thank you but I’m not super interested. Idk man. I’d rathe have a no than a maybe (probably not).
But it’s rude to lie. I’d rather have honest friends. I invited a friend over and he said, “hey I’m really working on my honesty. I would love to go to your place but maybe another time because I really need my me time today.” I respected that.
It’s great if you are able to find people who are like that, but no one is under any obligation to be beholden to you like that. It comes across as incredibly manipulative to try to insist on that.
I guess I have trouble telling which level of masking I’m seeing talked about because I interpreted the op as a conscious thing whoops.
I do both levels. Like, I have “I don’t want to explain this thing” which I’m trying to stop on that conscious level, but I also experience the other side where certain circumstances are just like, flashes in my brain that pull out the only response that feels safe, or sometimes the only one that seems non-destructive, but not in a way that I’m capable of processing in the moment, and I don’t know why I do it often. Unraveling that is a lot harder, though, and while it is happening, maybe the less advanced state of that unmasking effort is also why I can’t see it being talked about.
Being the autistic person on the receiving end of this sort of communication can be kind of frustrating ngl
I genuinely hate the dishonesty. Why is it drilled in people to fake being nice? Why does one have to be so polite? There are ways to say no and still be polite. Or just simply say, hey thank you but I’m not super interested. Idk man. I’d rathe have a no than a maybe (probably not).
Because it’s rude to be open about not wanting to do something.
But it’s rude to lie. I’d rather have honest friends. I invited a friend over and he said, “hey I’m really working on my honesty. I would love to go to your place but maybe another time because I really need my me time today.” I respected that.
It’s great if you are able to find people who are like that, but no one is under any obligation to be beholden to you like that. It comes across as incredibly manipulative to try to insist on that.
People don’t choose their masking, but I do agree it really is frustrating to be on the receiving end.
I guess I have trouble telling which level of masking I’m seeing talked about because I interpreted the op as a conscious thing whoops.
I do both levels. Like, I have “I don’t want to explain this thing” which I’m trying to stop on that conscious level, but I also experience the other side where certain circumstances are just like, flashes in my brain that pull out the only response that feels safe, or sometimes the only one that seems non-destructive, but not in a way that I’m capable of processing in the moment, and I don’t know why I do it often. Unraveling that is a lot harder, though, and while it is happening, maybe the less advanced state of that unmasking effort is also why I can’t see it being talked about.