I don’t know your story and I don’t know if your parent has a diagnosis. But those “victims of NPD” support groups? 90% of the people in them do not have a parent with a diagnosis. 90% of those people heard that narc*****st is a synonym for abuser, have judged correctly that their parents are abusive, and have concluded incorrectly that their parents have NPD. American pop psychology has a decades long tradition of publishing self help books that say we are all surrounded by narc*****sts, every abusive person in our lives is a narc*****st, and that the root of all evil is people with a mental disorder.

You know why that is? Because telling people their problems are caused by a vulnerable minority that can’t defend itself is a great way to get money and influence. That’s how Hitler took over Germany. He said “I know you’re all upset by our nation’s poverty, and you know whose fault it is? The Jews!” That’s the playbook modern politicians are using with the idea of abusive trans people. There is such a thing as abusive trans people, I’ve met plenty of them. But there’s no link between those two traits, there’s just abusers in every demographic. Same with NPD. The fact that Zuckerberg is evil and Jewish doesn’t mean Jews are evil. Same with NPD.

The issue here is propaganda. People have been propagandized, and those 90% who are clinging onto a myth because it makes their trauma make sense, are dangerous. We need to use the same tactics to defend pwNPD that we use to defend trans people and Jewish people.