cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/17147012

"Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay."

-a 15yo autistic girl experiencing ABA therapy

Source

  • Icaria@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    a 15yo autistic girl experiencing ABA therapy

    You’re all acting like the relevant bit here isn’t the 15yo bit.

    Adult gets frustrated with know-it-all 15yo, and does what they need to to put the kid in their place so they can do their damned job, kid comes up with bullshit rationalisation for why they’re right and everyone else is wrong once they get home, Internet echo chamber enables them, news at 11.

    • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yeah, the fact she’s a teenager doesn’t invalidate her perspective at all, no more than the fact she’s a woman. Teenagers DO have more insight into the injustices of society than adults who have grown comfortable with their advantages in it. Wisdom and foolishness both develop early, and only rarely do they swap with age. Her insight is wise, and it’s foolish of you to dismiss her.

      • Icaria@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Teenagers DO have more insight into the injustices of society than adults who have grown comfortable with their advantages in it.

        I think you need to speak to some actual teenagers. A subset of every generation thinks they’re on a holy crusade to right the world’s wrongs, but most of them grow up.

        • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          No, most of them give up as adults. Doesn’t mean those problems disappeared. I’ve met damn few men I would consider grown up.

    • Kichae@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      The 15 year olds of the world often see the hypocrisy of people and society more clearly than those who are financially or socially motivated to ignore them. Their observations are not invalidated by their age.

      If someone’s job is to be an abusive authoritarian hypocrite, then they choose abusive power and financial gain over humanity. The Nuremberg defense is not valid moral shield.

      This quote is almost a decade old now, and has gained recognition for its general insight countless times over. Why the naked, ageist contempt?

      • Icaria@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        If someone’s job is to be an abusive authoritarian hypocrite

        Jesus christ, mate, try harder. This is the shit I’m talking about.

        Why the naked, ageist contempt

        The contempt is for the enabling. Kids have always acted hard done by. It’s not hard to see that someone just didn’t want to take their therapist’s advice or didn’t like what they told them, played the victim card in the most vague, abstract way possible (this is the telltale sign that it’s a bullshit rationalisation), and now they’ve got a whole Internet full of maladjusted people with their own axes to grind and little genuine interest in helping anyone to reinforce their maladaptive behaviours.

    • EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      My son can be a hell of a smart ass at times as all 12 year old kids can be. He’s autistic, was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, the whole 9. But it’s the damnedest thing, when I talk to him like he’s a person with his own agency, treat him with dignity and respect, and explain to him why I want something from him he happily hops right up and does exactly what I ask. It’s the craziest thing.

    • _cyb3rfunk_@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      It’s not a bullshit rationalization, she’s absolutely right. And given her level of analysis, if her parents have a legit reason to ask her to fix her behavior they just have to say the actual thing instead of relying on trite bullshit.

    • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      You know the best way to get a teenager or a toddler for that matter to do something? Start by treating them like a person.

      I bet you absolutely love listening to people as they refuse to treat you like a person, let alone acknowledge your bullshit rationalisation.

      Try not to lick any boots on your way out.

      • Icaria@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Any credibility you had, you aborted it with that last line. Naaaah, this is totally not just some teenager who resents adults telling them what to do, and this forum is totally not just a bunch of anarkiddies circlejerking, but also we’re gunna call you a bootlicker.

        Who cares if the quote is total bullshit by someone acting in bad faith if it hones the edge of the ideological axe you have to grind. Shit’s just reddit all over again.

        • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Die mad, I guess. Probably avoid having kids in the meantime though - I can’t imagine they’d deserve you as a parent.

          • Icaria@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Die mad, I guess.

            Dude, I’m getting hitler comparisons and called a boot licker for inserting the only hint of healthy skepticism into the whole damned thread. Now I’m getting fuckin’ 'u mad’s straight outta 2008. Excuses, deflections, personal attacks; as the kids say, cope harder.

            (Oh and I’m not discounting the more sensible responses, it’s just there’s not a lot to say to personal anecdotes about some guy’s 12yo son.)

            • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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              7 months ago

              You’re making highly authoritarian, essentialist arguments - I can’t imagine why you’d be getting that kind of pushback.

              As you double down while getting downvoted to oblivion as everyone tells you how wrong you are, I’m sure you won’t be the…

              kid (that) comes up with bullshit rationalisation for why they’re right and everyone else is wrong once they get home.

              • Icaria@lemmy.world
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                7 months ago

                You’re making highly authoritarian, essentialist arguments

                Bruh, spend less time online and/or on campus, you’re turning into a moon person.

                The fucking irony of someone who was on the receiving end of malpractice from a psychiatrist as a child having to state that, yes, mental health professionals are generally authorities on behavioural and cognitive issues, and yes, adults are generally authorities on most things compared to 15yos. If I can get over it, I’m sure you can - hopefully before you spit out any little undisciplined animals of your own, and make them everyone else’s problem.

                As you double down while getting downvoted to oblivion as everyone tells you how wrong you are

                This is an indicator of a weak mind. Popularity contests have about as much bearing as insults. At no point have any of you explained how or why my reading of the post isn’t valid, and I highly suspect the anonymous downvotes and smartarsery are because you know it is and just don’t want to think about it, either due to an overarching agenda, or because no one likes feeling like they’ve been hoodwinked.