My uncle lives about 3 blocks away from where I live, so very close. We never really see each other.
My mom and him are always argueing and to be fair my mother is right. He is an *sshole but he personally never done anything to me.
My brother on the other side has more contact to him and said that he belongs to family and should come or else I will start a “fight”.
I don’t know I don’t really care about him because I don’t interact with him so the only reason why I wouldn’t invite him is because of how he is treating my mom. My mom avoids contact as much as possible and they are two different people. I couldn’t care less if he was at my wedding or not so if it wouldn’t be for my mother I would invite him to avoid drama but duo to how the situation is I am honestly thinking about not inviting him so my mom can enjoy the day too and doesn’t have to “hide”.
She ran out off my nephews second birthday last year once my uncle came in because he is so toxic she can’t even stay in a room with him.
My brother said it isn’t my problem but tbh it I think it is my problem. I love my mom and want her to enjoy my wedding without her being forced to have contact with someone she HATES.
I think I answered my own question by now but am I the as*shole and what consequences does this have? I am planning on visiting my uncle and telling him he isn’t invited because of how the situation is between my mom and him and that my and my wifes wedding isn’t the day for family drama and I don’t want to risk it - even if they promise to behave. I just don’t want it on that day.
With that being said I also can’t invite my grandpa to which I do not have contact with since years because of how toxic he was to my mother. He wasn’t as toxic as my uncle to my mother was so my mom said it would be okay to invite him BUT he requires 1:1 assistance meaning my oncle would have to drive him and take care of him - he would also be there because of my grandpa. So I just don’t invite both.
Edit: accidently posted it in relationship advice my bad :-(
You’re under no obligation to invite anyone aside from your spouse-to-be and legal witnesses. Everyone else is optional, especially people who would create drama and/or hamper the enjoyment of other guests you do want at the wedding.
My partner and I eloped with our witnesses and parents when we got hitched. There was griping on both sides of course, but if I didn’t care enough to have anyone else at the ceremony, why would I give a fuck about their feelings and takes on that decision? They could either get over it or not.
Anyone who gets upset with you for making a choice about YOUR life that in no way materially impacts them or theirs needs a reality check. It’s your life and your wedding. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.