This morning I’m mostly grumpy about my ADHD.

Firstly, I didn’t get around to taking my pill until an hour after I got up, because I straight up forgot, despite remembering as I was pouring my coffee.

Then I just realised that I missed a Dr appointment yesterday, because it was made two fucking weeks ago, and despite being in the fucking calendar I can’t be trusted to fucking remember anything.

I’m particularly angry about that, because it was to review (and hopefully increase) my meds…

I’m angry about that because it could have been a sodding phone appointment, but every drs surgery is run by old guys who are massively averse to anything beyond sitting in front of their patients so they can chastise them for being fat.

And I really want to practice the mindfulness I’ve been taught, to consider that this is a spiral, and that ultimately no harm has been done, I’ll just be increasing (hopefully) my dosage a couple of weeks later.

But I’m frustrated that there’s so much stuff I have to remember that I just can’t. Other people manage to juggle all the needs on them, but I feel like I always fail, or at the very least that I can’t be trusted to be consistent.

  • DJDarren@beehaw.orgOPMEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I was diagnosed in 2019, at the age of 39. So I have a lot of work to do to unravel all the ‘coping’ mechanisms I’ve taught myself over the years. But what’s been most eye-opening is my shift in perception of what ADHD is from something that naughty boys at school are told they have, to this thing that afflicts my brain which causes me to forget everything all the damn time.

    And the best part is when I complain about this, and some well-meaning person will say “Have you tried using X.app?” and I’ll go to download X.app ONLY TO FIND I ALREADY FUCKING HAVE IT, THAT I USED IT THREE TIMES THEN FORGOT IT EXISTED.

    And it’s all just so fucking exhausting.

    • douglasg14b@beehaw.orgEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, diagnosed at 31 here. So many coping mechanisms that do or don’t work.

      Unfortunately during the summer I have to choose. My meds or decongestants to at least reduce the misery from bad seasonal allergies.

      Can’t make doctor appointments, can’t remember to call a contractor to fix the porch, forget to call people on their birthdays, forget to cancel subscriptions, can’t remember to do simple task, or return things under warranty…etc I always remember things in the middle of the night, when you can’t call any of the businesses or people you need to call, or drop anything off.

      Work is my hyperfocus time, so all the other tasks and todos I have vanish from my brain till after, even with meds.

      It’s frustrating man, I feel ya, shit sucks.

      • DJDarren@beehaw.orgOPMEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        I always remember things in the middle of the night, when you can’t call any of the businesses or people you need to call, or drop anything off.

        At the risk of being the “But have you tried this app” Guy, for the problem you’ve outlined here, I use Brain Toss. Literally all it does is email your own ramblings back at you, so if you remember something in the night, tap out a message on Brain Toss, then when you check your emails the next day there will be a reminder.

        When I remember I have it, it’s a brilliant little app.