I’d trade with a dying kid. its okay, I’m just exhausted of the requirements for a “decent/basic” life.
ive thought about changing what I consider “decent/basic”… but… energy.
about the one way trip… it was a dark day. but it’s always there in the background as a possible “solution/option”
I usually fantasize about having a terminal disease. or an accident. something out of my control that releases me from any “responsability” about not being strong enough to do what it takes to “succeed”/survive. like having a 9-5 job. I’ve had one for 3 years. worst time of my life. honestly I don’t know how I survived… the occasional beer with a friend that felt the same way and hope probably
I’m on meds (psychiatrist, and Concerta helped with basic things like doing bed and dishes) and recently tried psychologist as well. I quit after 5 sessions because I just felt we were going in circles. I already had thought about the options/solutions the psychologist gave me so… nothing new.
and 50 euros (cheap comparing to competition) per hour is kinda expensive for my budget. “find your passion”
yeah. I’ve been trying my whole life. I just get bored at some point, force to keep it going until I can’t anymore and quit.
anyway, thanks for the kind words.
hopefully I didn’t trigger anyone with my hopelessness
I’ve been there myself many times. I’ve had those dark days when the one-way out option seems like the only possible solution. Even going to far as to give my things away and make a list about what I was planning to do, I had it all ready to go.
But one day I just got sick of being unhappy and beating myself up when truthfully it wasn’t anything I was doing, but other people that were making my life miserable.
From then I quit. I quit the relationship and I quit my 8 to 5 job (we don’t have 9 to 5 here in Utah) and I let the chips fall where they may. And I found out, I can stand on my own feet.
I think you’ve got the strength to survive and succeed, or you would’t have made it this far. You have what I do - a kind of adult ADHD where nothing seems to satisfy your needs for long, and doing one thing over and over just doesn’t cut it.
All I can say is that indulging myself in my interests, even if they change moment to moment, has really helped. I know that’s not a luxury everyone has, but hopefully you can still finds ways to indulge yourself and tell your inner judges to shut the hell up already.
Best of luck with it all, and feel free to hit me up with you need more kind words!!
I’d trade with a dying kid. its okay, I’m just exhausted of the requirements for a “decent/basic” life. ive thought about changing what I consider “decent/basic”… but… energy.
about the one way trip… it was a dark day. but it’s always there in the background as a possible “solution/option”
I usually fantasize about having a terminal disease. or an accident. something out of my control that releases me from any “responsability” about not being strong enough to do what it takes to “succeed”/survive. like having a 9-5 job. I’ve had one for 3 years. worst time of my life. honestly I don’t know how I survived… the occasional beer with a friend that felt the same way and hope probably
I’m on meds (psychiatrist, and Concerta helped with basic things like doing bed and dishes) and recently tried psychologist as well. I quit after 5 sessions because I just felt we were going in circles. I already had thought about the options/solutions the psychologist gave me so… nothing new. and 50 euros (cheap comparing to competition) per hour is kinda expensive for my budget. “find your passion” yeah. I’ve been trying my whole life. I just get bored at some point, force to keep it going until I can’t anymore and quit.
anyway, thanks for the kind words. hopefully I didn’t trigger anyone with my hopelessness
I’ve been there myself many times. I’ve had those dark days when the one-way out option seems like the only possible solution. Even going to far as to give my things away and make a list about what I was planning to do, I had it all ready to go.
But one day I just got sick of being unhappy and beating myself up when truthfully it wasn’t anything I was doing, but other people that were making my life miserable.
From then I quit. I quit the relationship and I quit my 8 to 5 job (we don’t have 9 to 5 here in Utah) and I let the chips fall where they may. And I found out, I can stand on my own feet.
I think you’ve got the strength to survive and succeed, or you would’t have made it this far. You have what I do - a kind of adult ADHD where nothing seems to satisfy your needs for long, and doing one thing over and over just doesn’t cut it.
All I can say is that indulging myself in my interests, even if they change moment to moment, has really helped. I know that’s not a luxury everyone has, but hopefully you can still finds ways to indulge yourself and tell your inner judges to shut the hell up already.
Best of luck with it all, and feel free to hit me up with you need more kind words!!