Father of a 7 year old semi verbal autistic boy here, looking for advice.
My boy goes to main stream school but we are looking at changing as he is falling further behind.
Recently he’s been unable to concentrate acts out, and refuses school work, even hitting hth one teacher he’s always liked.
Honestly feels like the terrible 2s at 7.
How do I manage this?
Are the school working with you/understanding, would a deeper conversation/meeting with them help before you make the move?
Is he on any medication at present that could be adjusted?
ADHD is often found in autistic individuals which would affect concentration. Autistic and ADHD behaviour can be confusing to understand as one minute the person is quiet and focused the next they are restless and seeking stimulation (of any kind, good or bad). Learning about ADHD might be useful.
School expect deeper concentration as children age so this issue may not have been obvious before now. School might offer to help such as letting him have ‘brain breaks’, walk around classroom, regulate himself however works best for him. Does he stim at all? Would he be comfortable to stim in school? There’s a huge range of fidget devices available also that he could take in, some can be worn discretely such as necklaces etc.
Autistics find socialising difficult and I’ve heard children can’t sometimes use violence, even on people they like, as they struggle to know how to connect. Working on his social skills can help. Are there any groups for autistic children outside of school he could join? It’s often said one of the best things for neurodivergent people is to spend lots of time with other neurodivergent people.
Finally for you as a parent you might look to find other parents/support groups for those with autistic children if you’re going through this alone. Sometimes your own family can’t understand or know how to help so you have to look elsewhere. Well done for reaching out to this community and I hope you can find something that helps.
Is it possible to keep him out of school until an alternative becomes available? He seems to be suffering a lot, and probably won’t learn much anyway if he’s stressed out by his environment. What alternatives would be available where you live? If you find it hard to research for yourself, maybe there’s some official organism that offers support or an association/self-help group of people in the same situation?
In my family the intensity of spectrum varies, of the youngest generation there’s one boy who did normal school without problems, the other needs support in pre-school and might not be sent into mainstream education. There’s nothing wrong with either option, it’s whatever fits the child best. Don’t force a solution that doesn’t work.
Keeping him out of school isn’t an option sadly. Also he does enjoy school just refuses to do the work, why I don’t know.
Is there a Montessori school nearby? They do a great job with kids that don’t quite fit the normal school assembly line.
