My boyfriend is like that. If I were to describe his mind most of the time, it is like a zen garden where he calmly walks around and looks at things, tidies up the sand patterns, grooms a bonsai tree and drinks tea near a mini waterfall that makes nice trickling water noises.

When I would ask him what he was thinking and he’d say nothing, I didn’t believe him during the first few years of the relationship. Now I understand that he just genuinely thinks about nothing sometimes and is just living in the now. It is very peaceful and it isn’t that he has tumbleweeds in his head. Not at all. Things are happening. The trickling water, the ripples in the sand, the pruned trees. It is just peaceful wandering in the now until he has to activate critical thinking, emotional thinking or any other thinking.

I have sort of learned how to do it from him over the years. It just isn’t something I’m very good at holding onto for long, but I have had moments where I set foot in the zen garden too and I would love to be there more often. My brain just won’t allow me.

Im fucking big jealous, sometimes I wish I could have that peace.