This isn’t a joke. And it’s not just MC.
From 2002-2008, I worked two full-time retail jobs. Overtime was common at both around the holidays. 2006 was insane for me. Like, the number of weekly hours I worked that year sound like I’m lying, and Thanksgiving to New Year’s was crazy in comparison to the rest of that crazy year.
Anyway: Christmas. Retail. I’d work 10+ hours at job 1, then go to job 2 and put on another 8-10 hours, then I’d crash for however long until the next shift. All the while it would be the same 20 or so Christmas songs over and over and over.
Between shifts, there’d still be Christmas music. Gas station? Christmas music. Restaurants? Christmas music. Bank? Christmas music.
Sometimes I’d sleep at my mom’s house between shifts because it was closer to one of my jobs. She’d be up, getting into the spirit by… listening to Christmas music. Even in my sleep, it haunted me.
I can still vividly remember Christmas shopping for my niece and nephew in 2006, standing in line at a Toys R Us holding this big stuffed animal. “Wonderful Chrismastime” by Paul McCartney was on. That fucking refrain penetrated my psyche like it never had before, and I literally began to shake.
“Simply. Having. A wonderful Christmastime.”
I thought I was going to cry. Or just start screaming. Or maybe grab someone and punch them until the police arrived. But I didn’t do any of those things.
I set the stuffed animal on the floor, I walked outside, and I sat in my car, staring blankly at nothing, and I chain smoked a full pack of cigarettes, lighting them off one another. And then I went back to work.
That was 17 years ago, and sometimes I still drop what I’m doing and leave a store if that, or one of a handful of other songs, come on.
You definitely aren’t alone. I know people who have PTSD from Christmas music.
One of my friends said they went to a new Publix near them this weekend and they had a Santa there for the kids. Forget Halloween and Thanksgiving. Straight to Christmas.
My local Pricesmart (Costco equivalent) already has Christmas stuff up for sale as of this week. Global warming is melting her earlier every year.
SHE’S BREACHING CONTAINMENT
Who would even be bringing their kids to Santa in September?
When I was a kid I used to love going out to eat at some big restaurant on Christmas day until I thought about it and realized the workers there weren’t spending Christmas with their families and having a good time like I was. Then Christmas started becoming sad.
:(
Maybe if they didn’t celebrate Christmas they spent time with their family on a different day and made a good amount of money because no one else wanted to work
That’s what I did, made so much money! My parents were emergency workers (they’re both retired now) and it was pretty common for one or both of them to have to work on Christmas Day. So we celebrated it on a different day most years, wasn’t a big deal to us. Now they’re all about having Christmas on Christmas, but I figure that’s fair. They lost out on a bunch keeping other people’s families safe. They deserve it
They’re fucking heroes is what they are… o7
I realize it’s anecdotal, but I go out of my way to not patronize businesses on federal holidays.
If it wasn’t profitable they’d be closed. I’ve been the guy working a holiday and hearing “oh its such a shame your open”. Fuck you Mr. Jergeson, you standing here proved some fucking bean counter right - you’re here spending money justifying the store being open.
All I want for Christmas is you
pls no
You!..uh uh uh uh…uh uh uhahhhh ahh uh oooo!
BUM BUM BUUUM BUM
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But we’ve only hit mid-September.
There really needs to be laws about this stuff.
I’ve seen Christmas stuff for sale before Halloween stuff in stores before.
Hell cannot exist after death because we are already living in it.
My local costco already has beer advent calendars for sale.
Oh god, it’s in my head now.
Sorry bud, it’s not leaving for six months
It’s almost time, she requires the pain of retail workers to sate her fury for the rest of the year.
She’s like a vampire of suffering and Christmas festivities
Glad im not working in the supermarket anymore
You’ve escaped, others are not so fortunate
We must save them
Grocery store music is horrible.
I heard it in a coffee shop just the other day. Several customers and employees complained and the manager skipped the song all in about 30 seconds
The revolution has begun
OCTOBER?
Earlier and earlier every year. It’s so incremental that you’ll be surprised but it won’t feel too far off buying a costume in June. Spirit has been training for this by cannibalizing stores of all sizes and types. They are ready to assimilate us.
I hope we don’t get seasonal playlists. They were playing the KLF in here the other day. We have a pretty good selection at the moment.
