Obligatory “not a parent”, but my parents worked their butts off to make sure I turned out okay so I think I can contribute a little. I wouldn’t blame people for feeling like I was spoiled.

• I’ve been lucky enough to be in Massachusetts which is the home of the Aspergers / Autism Association.

• My parents took advantage of my early diagnosis to educate my teachers, at least in Elementary and early Middle School. A few teachers in particular became unofficial advocates for me, and they helped develop an IEP for me (Massachusetts has a SPED program that it actually funds).

• Practical things we did (that I can remember) outside of the IEP stuff mostly revolved around making sure I was “at my best”, my personal best, rather than outright forcing me to be someone I wasn’t. For instance:

• Make sure I drink enough water (Seriously dehydration + a 10 yo with autism not a good combo)

• Do a little meditation every day (it’s a workout for your frontal lobe! Great for learning to manage sensory problems without being an awful ABA thing)

• Incorporate “exposure therapy” into my day in little, low-pressure ways. For instance I was a very picky eater, my mom made a deal with me that I always had to try whatever was on her plate but I could always spit it out into a paper towel or something if I couldn’t deal with it.

• Literally had a period on some days in middle school (OK, this was an IEP thing but still) where the school stuck the antisocial kids in a room together to just hang out. There were three of us, the other two were almost certainly ND as well. We ended up being very good friends and I remained friends with one of them until the end of HS.

I guess my main point is that I believe I experienced a happy medium where my parents firmly made sure that I kept growing, but didn’t always force me into situations I hated. They respected my boundaries as much as they could while still pushing me to have a good life. I won’t claim that I was “fixed” but I went from a kid who bashed his head against concrete when he was upset and had mental breakdowns over someone breaking the rules in Monopoly to an adult who a lot of psychologists wouldn’t diagnose with autism (because they’re uninformed, not because I was cured). I’m still a barely functional adult, but I’d be an even less functional adult otherwise.