Admittion of wrong-doing and change of behaviour.

It’s alot more complicated than that but that’s pretty high level view.

For both: a genuine, non-narcissist’s apology. The kind my stepson knew how to do when he was 11.

So basically, nothing realistic.

Nothing. They had years to start listening. Now it’s too late.

My brother’s a textbook malignant narcissist who will literally lecture everyone around him about how great he is. He pulls shitty, manipulative BS, lies about his behavior with a straight face and then does it again the next day.

My brother is what he is and there’s nothing he could ever say or do that would convince me otherwise.

On the flip side, I have cut all contact with the youngest of my four children (he is turning 24 in a month) due to bigotry, fascistic tendencies, rampant narcissism and believing in and supporting things that make me absolutely nauseous. My other three kids don’t talk to him either. We all call him the white sheep in a black sheep family, as he’s very normative, straight white supremacist, etc. I’m rather surprised he doesn’t go to church despite being atheist his whole life.

Nothing. My parents went through a nasty divorce that I was dragged through the middle of. During that ordeal, my mom made it abundantly clear how she felt about me. I now maintain a strict no-contact policy regarding her, for both my sanity and safety.

Mother: Can prove that they are in recovery from drugs, apologize for selling/trafficking me for drugs, and almost murdering me.

Father: Apologize for abandoning me, and take an active interest in my life.

For them to apologize and to treat me like an adult.

My father would have to admit he didn’t really care and make up for all the bs that happened because of it.

My mother can rot in hell.

I am low contact, but she is way too mentally ill to have positive relationships with people. I sympathize that she can’t control it, but it’s kind of like asking me to put my hand on a stove to please someone else. I truly gain nothing but unpleasant feelings from being around her. I feel nothing but aversion to the thought of being around her. Even as a child I avoided her.

It took 10 years then finally meeting again at my Grandparents’ home, and realizing my mother was scared shitless of me. That took the power back, like I wasn’t a defenseless, dependant 16 year old anymore. It’s like she knew better than to ever bring up right-wing political cult stuff after that ever again. She died in 2020, so ig I’m glad she never lived to see the current state of affairs

I cut off my father after him defending the murder of George Floyd by reciting TimPool/Peterson talking points. And then he died last year. So, I guess he’d have to fix that first.

For me, it would be for her to actually respect my boundaries, and to show an active interest in who I actually am instead of what role I can fulfill for her.

She would need to make a genuine apology to my brother and his wife. I gave her the easy apology with myself six years ago under the assumption that she would make an actual effort with everyone else involved. She did not, and instead chose the route of the coward pretending to be victimized and wronged. Until she chooses the path of accountability, I don’t have any intention of speaking with her.

Nothing. I simply don’t want anything to do with the concept of biological family; makes absolutely no sense to me.